Tag Archives: worry

Seeing What Is Not There

The other morning, my mother-in-law underwent a procedure to treat her cataracts.  At ninety-one, she was hesitant to have it done (she was unwilling to endure the pain, to be anesthetized, or to have a doctor mess with her eyes).  After weeks of prayer and encouragement by a multitude of sources, she went to the surgical clinic and allowed the procedure to be done.  The surgery was a success.  Twenty-four hours later, at the follow-up appointment, two surprising developments took place: 1) she told the nurse that the experience was better than she expected, and 2) her vision test showed that her eyesight was greatly improved.

Worry is, by all appearances, a mighty adversary.  It will tell us that the costs are not worth the gains.  It will remind us of that one time, long ago, when we were mistreated and assure us it will happen again.  It will highlight the adverse effects that professionals must legally disclose and tell us that we will be the ‘one-in-a-million’ to suffer.  It will keep us up at night, make us lose our appetites and force us to pace the floor.  Few know the truth, however, that worry is a paper tiger.  Worry is only a shadow on the wall.

“Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”  Matthew 6:27 (NIV)

As I read these words of Jesus, I think to myself, “Maybe I can; I am pretty good at it.”  Despite my conviction that God’s word is true and that God grants perfect peace – complete contentment and wondrous well-being – to all who trust in Him, worry is a constant travelling companion of mine.  Its relentless whisper rings in my ears, causing me to fret about everything from car accidents to broken bones, from power outages to excessive costs.  I readily admit that this level of worry is not rational; it is nothing more than exhausting – of energy, of hope and or peace.

“So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”  Matthew 6:31-33 (NIV)

The remedy for worry is worship: to trust in the promises of our loving Heavenly Father for what we eat, what we drink and what we wear (as well as what we endure, what we await and what we hope to avoid).   Worry is silenced when we rely upon God to provide whatever we need, whether it be peace or patience or perseverance.  Worry is unmasked when we rest in God’s presence.  Worry is defeated when we occupy our thought with the goodness, kindness and love of our creator.  The paper tiger of worry is tamed by the authority of His name.

I hope that my quickly recovering mother-in-law (and I) will be able to see this truth.

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Boy to Man

Yesterday, at exactly 11:16PM, my middle son, David, turned 18 and in so doing became a legal adult.  He is able to vote for the next elected official and enter into binding contracts.  He is able to sign himself out of class if he chooses and he will now be reported by name on census forms.  He is more than a big boy; he is a man, physically and statutorily.  I wonder, as I reflect upon this momentous occasion, if he is ready for the adult world and if he has the character of an adult in the world today.

As I reflect upon his life, I pray that he will continue to develop his character of:

  • Charity – David and I had the opportunity to visit the former Charlestown Navy Yard on a regular basis. As we made our way to weekly appointments, we would walk by expired parking meters.  After a few weeks, we scoured the car for loose change (and then filled our pockets before we left the house) so that we could anonymously refill the meters.  I pray that he will continue to be that kind of man.
  • Hospitality – David regularly invited friends to our home for afternoons of video gaming. He’d ask, on their behalf, for his mom to procure snacks and soda so that his guests would be cared for (they even ate, over a week or two, a case of Vidalia-flavored potato chips).  I pray that he will continue to be that kind of man.
  • Accomplishment – As part of your participation in the scouts, I remember the courts of honor I attended, celebrating David’s advancement through the ranks and his proficiency in certain skills worthy of merit badges. He has a treasure trove of skills and abilities that he ought to be proud of.  I pray that he will continue to be that kind of man.

Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled.  In everything set them an example by doing what is good.  In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.  Titus 2:6–8

  • Adventure – Through storming through the front door like a warrior or through playing in the driveway with abandon, David receive stitches in his palm on one occasion and his leg on another. I hope my son will, forsaking recklessness, will risk something to taste life fully.  I pray that he will continue to be that kind of man.
  • Responsibility – one formative experience, as he is oft to repeat, was when his mom gave a “time-out” to David’s favorite toy (Dusty, the talking Vacuum Cleaner). With glee, he recounts that there are consequences to bad behavior (even when performed by the inanimate).  He learned that he was responsible for himself and those he leads.  I pray that he will continue to be that kind of man.
  • Whimsy – I have a picture in my office of my now adult son in a banana suit while volunteering at VBS. He also wore the suit at a recent PAX East Expo.  It was funny, quirky and unexpected.  I pray that he will continue to be that kind of man.
  • Service – David has been active in the church; as an usher, as a representative for the “Got Goat” program, working the sound board. He has utilized his skills in service to God and others.  I pray that he will continue to be that kind of man.

May we all strive to be adults of character, as I pray my middle boy will.

Happy Birthday, David.

Dad, Just Believe

This Sunday is Father’s Day, the time when we celebrate the dads in our lives.  Being the father of four, I can attest that being a dad is not a undertaking for the faint of heart.  Generations ago, men had it easier, if Ward Cleaver or Mike Brady of classic television sitcoms are any indication – work every day during the week, escape to the home office when you are home and play golf on the weekends; the only time a dad interacted with their children was to dispense disciplinary chastisement or moral clichés.  Today’s dads are expected to work inside and outside the home, attend a fair number of their children’s extra-curricular and school events, and spend quality time with their family.  As I reflect on these things, I realize that being a father is one of the hardest and greatest roles God has blessed me to perform.

There is a man, a father, in the Bible that inspires me as a dad.  His name was Jairus.  He was a synagogue leader (and therefore a man of faith) and the father of a 12-year-old daughter.   But he was a father in crisis: despite the religious practices he, no doubt, engaged in (praying, offering sacrifices and fasting), his daughter was dying.  What would you do if your baby was deathly ill?  If you are Jairus, you go to an itinerant rabbi whom you heard had accomplished miracles.  However, before he could return with the man of Galilee, a servant of his tells him that it is too late: his daughter is dead.

Hearing this, Jesus said to Jairus, “Don’t be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed.”  Luke 8:50

Instead of giving up, Jairus gave his troubles over to Jesus.  He continued the long walk home and, instead of trusting the eyes of his servant, he trusted the words of a stranger.  As he came into his home, there was weeping and mourning appropriate to the circumstances.  But Jesus would not have any of it.

He went in and said to them, “Why all this commotion and wailing?  The child is not dead but asleep.”  But they laughed at him.  Mark 5:39-40

What is a dad to do?  You take a leap of faith and everyone you care about thinks it is a joke.  But, then again, what did he have to lose?  If Jesus was unable to do anything, his daughter was still dead…but what if HE WAS ABLE to do something amazing?

There are days that I feel like Jairus, asking Jesus to secure a healthy future of my child.  I have nothing I can offer but trust: trust that my 10-year-old will safely navigate the streets of Boston from school to home, trust that my 17-year-old will pass that difficult class, trust that my 20-year-old will be protected from the dangers prevalent in our national capital and trust that my 23-year-old will arrive home safely from that job 131 miles away.    People may say that my intercessions are realistically useless or that my circumstances are ridiculously hopeless.  Still, the dad in me will trust in the one who is able to do immeasurably more than I can imagine.

Happy Father’s Day to all those who are blessed to be called “Dad”.

Mother of All Moms

According to the National Retail Federation, the average Mother’s Day shopper will spend $180, or a total of $23.1 billion.  That is a lot of flowers and jewelry.  It seems that we all want to celebrate the blessing God has given us through giving us mothers.  In recognition of Mother’s Day on Sunday, allow me to share the story of a remarkable mom who lived a few thousand years ago.  She was poor, widowed and responsible for a child.  Things have gotten so bad for her that she had given up hope.  But God has other plans for her and her child.

We really know little about this mother.  While we do not know her name or her lineage, we do know she was married, but her husband died and left her with no source of income: according to the scriptures, all she had to her name was a jar of flour and a pitcher of oil.  We also know that she was not part of the “People of God”: she was an “unclean” Gentile.  Lastly, we know that she was commanded by God to help a certain prophet of God named Elijah: she was commissioned to use that last of all she had to feed this stranger.

Before I conclude the story, allow me to digress.  I am not at all surprised that God used a mother, especially a single mother, to save Elijah.  Is there any other class of human being so willing to sacrifice as a mom?  When there are five mouths and four slices of pie, it is the mom who says, “I’m too full from dinner for dessert; you guys have it.”  When it is three AM and thundering, it is the mom who gets displaced so that her child can be comforted.  She picks up the underwear, wipes up the barf and cleans up the bathroom.  There is seemingly no need too demanding or distance too far to travel for a mom.

Getting back to the story, this mother prepares her last meal for herself, her son and her visitor.  But the flour and oil never run out.  She and her household (including the guest) were fed for three years, miraculously.  Despite the fact that they were in the midst of a global famine, God was able to meet her needs.  Just when one might think everything is going to get better, tragedy strikes when the son of this woman becomes ill and stops breathing.  No one would blame her for her outburst:

She said to Elijah, “What do you have against me, man of God?  Did you come to remind me of my sin and kill my son?”  1 Kings 17:18

After all she had sacrificed, was this really how her story was going to end?  No.  Elijah immediately cries out to God and her son’s life is restored to him.  Then they all lived happily ever after (though not together).

I thank God that the mothers I am most familiar with (both biological and metaphorical) have yet to lose hope.  They sacrificed for the sake of those they loved, expressed outrage when something hurt those they loved and never gave up hope for those they loved.  Some of that has to do with their personal resolve – they are all formidable people of character – but some of it has to do with their faith in the God who can resource and restore them as He did for a Phoenician widow, her son and her house-guest.

Happy Mother’s Day to all those who have given more than they will ever get back from their families.

Inconvenience Store

There was an article in the New York Times that opined about the costs and benefits of present-day conveniences.  According to columnist Time Wu, conveniences are “more efficient and easier ways of doing personal tasks”.  Conveniences come in a nearly endless number of forms, everything from appliances (washers, dryers and microwaves) to technologies (digital streaming, cell phones and search engines).  They save us time, toil and treasure.  The world of my childhood would be foreign soil to my ten-year old son; the convenience of debit cards instead of cash or checks, the convenience of homework at home with Google and Wikipedia instead of researching at the library with the World Book Encyclopedia, the convenience of GPS and EZPass instead of glove compartment maps and a cupful of quarters.  Conveniences make life better.

However, there is another side to conveniences, a less beneficial side that warrants our attention.  As Wu writes, “With its promise of smooth, effortless efficiency, it threatens to erase the sort of struggles and challenges that help give meaning to life.”  Ultimately, there is a benefit to inconvenience, whether it is getting lost and discovering the pathway back to civilization or baking a pie from scratch instead of ordering one online through Uber Eats.  It is rewarding to toil and use reason.  We might become better people because we are required to wait or, worse yet, to go without.

In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.  Luke 14:33

Discipline is never convenient.  Eating healthy takes effort: making a salad takes longer than tearing the foil off a Pop Tart.  Exercise takes effort: spending time at the gym will be more demanding than spending time on the couch.  Education takes effort: solving a pesky equation with a pencil will take more time than watching a YouTube video of someone else solving for x.  The Christian life is no different.  When Jesus taught about the demands of discipleship, He told his followers to consider the costs.  He called His followers to live a life which included inconvenience.  He told them to give more than demanded, work longer than most and sacrifice greater than merely necessary.

Most of the things that make life easier are convenient.  Most of the things that make life better are inconvenient.  The question for each of us is whether we want easier or we want better.   Do we want the ease of microwave turkey or the goodness of Thanksgiving dinner?  Do we want the ease of hearing an explanation or the goodness of researching it ourselves?  Do you want the ease of activism by hashtag or the goodness of laboring for righteousness?  When we are passionate about something, the Cliff Notes will not suffice; we will want to invest our blood, sweat and tears to pursue it.

Evan Williams, a co-founder of Twitter, was quoted in Wu’s piece as saying, “Convenience decides everything.”  Maybe he’s right in general.  I do that hope he is wrong about us.

Necessary Engagement

Family members disagree.  They argue.  They fight.  They feud.  I witnessed this as a middle child and as a father of four.  I could share stories of fighting with my younger brother or of my boys fighting over something or other.  Sibling rivalry is nothing new; it is as old as history itself.  The first siblings, Cain and Abel, did not get along and fought, with terrible results.  Sibling rivalry also rears its ugly head among the followers of Jesus, as is evident in the interaction between siblings Mary and Martha that is recorded in Luke 10:38-42.     

It all began with these sisters disagreeing over the proper etiquette in entertaining guests: one sister gave priority to hospitality and the other to conversation.  These two women had a difference of focus.  Martha focused on serving – Jesus was coming over for dinner and she wanted everything to come together properly.  Mary was focused on engaging with Jesus – sitting at his feet listening to everything He was saying.  Neither of these women were wrong in their attention, but not everything that holds our focus is necessary.

When our focus is fixed, it becomes difficult to see the periphery clearly.  Mary’s sole focus was Jesus and everything else was inconsequential.  Martha’s scattered focus was on many things and everything became distracting and disturbing.  I cannot recount the number of times I have been troubled with all the details: is the dinner going to be done at the right time, are their any food allergies I am unaware of, is there something I am forgetting?  If that happens on a typical Tuesday, what would I be like if the Savior of all people were to visit my home?

Mary had no such turmoil.  She was blessed with peace.  As Jesus stated,

“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”   Luke 10:41–42 (ESV)

She chose the necessary, the good portion, and that enabled her to have peace.  In saying this, Jesus is not diminishing all the things that are important – service, school, socializing and more – but elevating the essential.  Time with God is necessary.  It is as essential as sleep, food, water and shelter.  These are the things we cannot function without.  We cannot survive without a relationship with Jesus, for that relationship is the source of our salvation, direction and righteousness.

This complex conversation between an aggravated sister and her Lord prompts me to ask about my own priorities and whether I am distracted and disturbed or at peace.  Do I have a lack of focus on what is necessary?  Do I have a lack of fellowship with God because I am so busy doing what is important but not essential?  Am I consumed by the worries of this world that I am in danger of fruitlessly withering?  Am I more like Martha or more like Mary?   I wish there was a verse 43 in Luke 10 which stated that later in the evening Mary did the dishes and Martha sat at the Lord’s feet.  While the scriptures are silent, I hope it to be true.  Maybe we all could be both.

Serving, like Martha did, is a wonderful gift to those around us, but it may or may not have anything to do with our relationship with God.  Building a relationship with God, like Mary did, will lead us to serve and be a blessing to those around us and a glory to God.   Focusing on the necessary will give us all we need.

No Waiting Room

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.  What is your life?  You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  James 4:14

Let me start by stating that everyone in our family is happy and healthy.  That being said, I am writing this post after a member of my family spent a night in the emergency room and a day in the hospital.  Let me repeat: everyone is perfectly fine and nothing has changed, except for one thing – my perspective.  No one begins their day planning to endure a car accident (not what happened) or a falling anvil (also not what happened) or a series of chest pains (well, there it is).  But this post is not about electrocardiograms or blood enzyme tests; this post is about me and my futile desire to preserve this mortal frame.

All this has got me thinking.  Make no mistake, I would be grateful to enter The Guinness Book of World Records by replacing Jeanne Louise Calment and becoming the longest living human (she died at 122).   I would like to see my children’s weddings and my grandchildren’s graduations.  I would like to see the Grand Canyon and the mighty redwoods.  My brain repeats the same refrain: “I still have time.”  But if this week is any indication of the realities of earthly existence, I cannot put off until tomorrow what I can do today since tomorrow is not guaranteed.

I am now left reflecting on how I spend my life (or waste it).  I work on my ‘day off’ and allow my vacation days to remain unspent.  I watch TV when I could have conversations.  When I do have conversations, my words are a lot like the last ten minutes of the late-night news (weather and sports).  I spend more time pursuing recreation and not enough time pursuing relationships.  I am stingy with my words of encouragement, my offerings of forgiveness and my displays of affection.  And now I worry that what I am saving for tomorrow I will not get a chance to spend.

“I will deal with that later.”  I will call later.”  “I will see you later.”   “I will take a break later.”  Later.  What is it about that word and the power it contains?  We all can agree that putting off making a payment or scheduling an appointment does not magically make the discomfort go away.  We all suffer regret for forgetting to make that call or neglecting to put down that project.  Even when spoken with the best of intentions, in many cases ‘later’ means ‘never’.

After the ‘health scare’ earlier this week, I am grateful for the gift of a few more tomorrows.  Yet, there is a nagging truth resonating deep within me that the gift of tomorrow is not guaranteed and that all we have is today.  This means that a must not delay the decisions or withhold the hugs that are meant for today.   I appreciate the reminder that there are some things that cannot wait until tomorrow, for that may never come.

Lasting Legacy

What do you hope your legacy will be?  More specifically, how do you hope to be remembered five or ten years after your retirement, or what do you hope people will say about you five or ten years after your passing?  On Wednesday, which also happened to be my birthday, I spent a few hours with a dozen or so pastors discussing a collection of essays about the connection between faith and biblical scholarship (compiled in a book titled I (Still) Believe) and these questions of legacy were part of our conversation.

The conversation made me think about an aspect of the scripture reading from Sunday that never made it into my sermon, the legacy (or non-legacy) of Joseph, the man not chosen.  Joseph’s complete mark on history is found in the following single verse:

So they nominated two men: Joseph called Barsabbas (also known as Justus) and Matthias.  Acts 1:23

This is what we know about Joseph:

  • He was called Barsabbas – meaning either literally ‘the son of Sabbas’ or figuratively ‘the child of rest or return (i.e. the Sabbath)’;
  • He was known as ‘the Just’ – he had a character of righteousness;
  • He was continually present with Jesus from the time of His baptism by John through His ascension – he spent more than three years following the Lord and hearing His teachings;
  • He was passed over for the promotion to apostle when God chose Matthias instead.

That is Joseph Barsabbas’ legacy: a good man who was ever-present to witness the words and ways of Jesus and was called by God to a secondary role.  The Bible is filled with “secondary characters” like Joseph Barsabbas: Mordecai, Esther’s cousin; Ehud, the left-handed judge who delivered Israel from the Moabites; and Onesiphorus, a care-taker of Paul’s.  Few people in the Scriptures are remembered in history.  Most of the names we read in the Old or New Testament are mentioned not for their legacy but for their lifestyle: to encourage our faithful obedience or to warn against our continued disobedience.

So, what do I hope my legacy will be?  I hope that I will be remembered not for the history I make but for the footprints that I leave.   I hope that I can leave big enough tracks in the muck of this earth that my children will remain on the course of faithfulness.  I hope that the map that I have drawn over my career in pastoral ministry will assist those I leave behind to avoid the perilous cliffs of despair.  I would be satisfied as a footnote, as a nameless face in a photograph, as a present-day Joseph Barsabbas; a good man who was there to witness all the wonders of Christ.

But ultimately, my legacy is largely inconsequential compared to the Lord’s.  Jesus alone is the one who has changed history.  World and military leaders fade from our memories, but the life of Christ alone remains.  Whether we are the star in life’s motion picture or only performing a supporting role, we all are precious in God’ sight and useful in accomplishing His purposes, whether we are remembered or not.

Crash Landing

I had been getting error messages from my computer at work for some time.  I was able to work around them and do my job without much inconvenience…until Tuesday.  That is when I got the BSOD (the blue screen of death), which stated, “Your PC ran into a problem that it couldn’t handle, and now it needs to restart”.   This computer issue was now a serious inconvenience and an exasperating consumer of my time.  Fortunately, I was able to restart the computer (after a number of failed attempts), back up the files and reload a new CPU.  The church office is now back up and running.

The process of replacing the computer has enabled me to take stock of a few things.

First, I realize that I am a creature of habit.  I like things the way I like things.  The keyboard upon which I now type feels different (softer?) than my old one.  Some of the desktop icons I am used to seeing are now missing (but at this point in time I have no idea what they were or what they did, but more on that later).  Updated hardware sometimes facilitates updated software, and some of my familiar programs appear different.  This realization is good for me, though: some habits are unhealthy (perhaps even a cause of the BSOD) and others are time consuming.  Maybe I am better off experiencing change.

I also realize that I am an undiagnosed digital hoarder.  The office PC had more than 45,000 files stored on its hard drive, accumulated over the span of five years.  Until I began having problems with the CPU, I had kept everything – every document, picture, PDF file, sound clip and program – on the hard drive.  I ran no backups, downloaded virtually nothing to discs, deleted no software I hadn’t been using.  I kept everything, even the icons for programs I hadn’t used in years.  This realization is also good for me: my productivity and efficiency can improve if I clean up the computer occasionally.  It would be better if I ran a backup, purged the unnecessary and saved on removable media important but not urgent data.

One more thing I realize is that deterioration and drive failures are a natural part of life.  While I appreciate the power and capacity of this new computer, I am aware, as I step over the carcass of dated technology currently residing on my office floor, that this CPU, too, will pass.  I will need a new computer, a new monitor and new software at some point in the future, either to improve or replace what I am blessed to use today.  This realization is good for me to grasp as well: entropy, a gradual decline into disorder, is real and must be dealt with as we go about our lives.  I am better off knowing that nothing on earth lasts forever.

By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.”   Genesis 3:19

I also realize that what is true for my electronic existence is also true for my physical existence.  I am made for proficiency and efficiency, needing this reminder to cast off the clutter and prepare for change.  One day this mortal frame will wear out; I can only hope that all I contain will be able to be accessed by those who come after me.

Who Cares?

Recently, I had the opportunity to deliver a sermon on one of my favorite Bible passages: Mark 4:35-41.  This portion of scripture recounts Jesus’ stilling of the storm.  I find this section of God’s word particularly impactful because of the question someone in the boat asks of Jesus: “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”  That is a question that each one of us has asked (or will ask) whoever we understand to be our Supreme Being when our lives are on the brink of shipwreck.  When we come to the end of ourselves, when our brains and our brawn have been exhausted, we all want to know if God will be there to deliver us from danger.

From the very beginning of their voyage, everyone in the boat knew Jesus’ command – “Let us go over to the other side.”  Their problem was that they lacked a full understanding of who was resting in the boat with them; they failed to recognize that the man who fell asleep amid the rising swells was God the Son.  They did not recognize that the one who directed the disciples to cross the sea would not lie or be denied.  They were unable to comprehend that, no matter how strong the storm (and even if the boat was sunk), they would make it through the wind and waves safe to the other side.  They were going to survive those frightening hours because God keeps His promises.  We, too, will survive the storm.

This inability to recognize Jesus as anything more than a teacher, an expert in the Law of God, is the crux of this account.  It has always fascinated me that the disciples, at least four of whom had years of nautical experience as fishermen, would wake the resting Rabbi for assistance.  Perhaps this question of concern was founded in their thought that a “man of God” was blessed by God and His prayers would avail much.   Maybe they remembered His miraculous power expressed in healing and deliverance, thinking that maybe He could act miraculously again.  The point is, someone in that boat thought that Jesus was special and wondered if He could save them.  We, too, have times when we wonder if Jesus can save us.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)

Why did Jesus calm the sea?  He did not still the waves to assure safe passage; that would have happened anyway.   He did not rebuke the wind to demonstrate His power over the natural order; they already knew He could do that.  He did all this to bring peace to the hearts of twelve frightened grown men; He showed that He cared for them, not just their circumstances.  The danger in reading passages like this that it can lead us to assume that God will always tame the troubles that terrify us.  That would miss the point that Jesus came to tame our fear, not simply take them away.

We all have anxious moment when we wonder if God cares, or even know, about us.  Here is a reminder that He does.  He cares enough to weather the storms with us and still the storms within us.