Tag Archives: Thinking

Common Courtesy

I am tired of it all.  I am done with being cut off in traffic when the other car entering the flow refuses to ‘zipper’ in,  with being interrupted before I can complete a sentence, with reaching the buffet table and finding empty dishes because the guy in front of me took more than appropriate, with running out of the public park because dog owners de-leash their pets – a cannot tell by its gait that she’s friendly – and with neglecting to bag her poop, with having a door close in my face because the person in front of me sneaks passed the coffee shop door as it closes (as if they are auditioning for “Mission Impossible”) and with the general absence of please and thank you by society.  Call me a curmudgeon if you’d like, but I am desperate for some common courtesy.

In today’s vernacular ‘courtesy’ is synonymous ‘free’ or ‘extra’ – courtesy calls from a service provider, courtesy vans from the auto body shop or courtesy phones found in hotel lobbies.  But its original meaning had more to do with characteristics of politeness and manners.  It is this latter definition that I miss in today’s interactions; I miss males acting as gentlemen and females acting as ladies.  At some point in my lifetime, our culture shifted and began valuing entitlement and individual rights over mutual respect and civility.  Many of the lessons I learned in elementary school – the practices of sharing, waiting one’s turn and refraining from unkind comments – are summarily ignored by a large segment of our population.

We need to be reminded of the words of Jesus:

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.  Matthew 7:12

This sentence, commonly called “The Golden Rule”, is perhaps the second most familiar statement of Christ (the first being John 3:16).  God Incarnate told His followers nearly 2,000 years ago that we are to treat other people the way we want to be treated.  With a greater or lesser degree of success, we all have been wrestling with our obedience to this command since it was first uttered.  We attempt to work the angles, balancing our needs with the needs of others, often failing because we resolve the tension with faulty math: if I hold the door for one or two people, those two turn into an untold number; I then end up at the end of the line and face delays that no one should be required to face; therefore, I cannot hold the door for you.  My needs are paramount.

But when everyone makes similar computations, and I fear that this is our present reality, Jesus’ words are ignored and no one is treated they way they want to be treated.  Everyone does what they want and common courtesy is but a relic of the past, like hand-written letters and house calls.  All is not lost, however, and God’s word will never return empty: if a few of us choose courtesy and champion kindness, the culture can change over time.   Join me in following the golden rule; it might encourage other to do the same toward you.

Photo by Matt Collamer on Unsplash  

 

Advertisements

Jingle Jangle Jingle

As part of a discussion with my family over Sunday’s sermon, my eldest stated that he was humored by the possibility of God’s bestowal of the spiritual gift of provocation.  His comment was based on the phrase “spur one another on” in Hebrews 10:24, a peculiar Greek word (παροξυσμός) which literally means “with a point”; the only other time the word is used in the New Testament (Acts 15:39) it is translated as “a sharp disagreement”.  The writer of the book of Hebrews was inspired to tell the church to look for ways to sharply provoke our fellow believers.

The term ‘spur on’ is a wonderful word picture of this process of provocation.  It conjures images of a race horse and jockey, working together as a team, to reach the optimal outcome.  The jockey is kicking his mount in the hind quarters and the horse is increasing its efforts.  At the end of the race, the horse, which endured the sting of provocation, is the champion and the jockey, the source of the provocation is the one who drapes the victor in flowers (quick question: horseracing’s Triple Crown was won this past June: what was the horse’s name?  And who was his jockey?  More of us can remember Justify, but few would come up with jockey Mike Smith).  ‘Spurring on’ may not be pleasant for the horse in the moment, but the resulting rewards cannot be underestimated.

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds….  Hebrews 10:24

The writer of Hebrews tells us to consider (literally, to look upon) one another for the spurring on toward love and good deeds.  The Holy Spirit inspired a first century author to urge the church to look for ways to provoke one another.  This provocation, this calling forth with sharpness, propels the believer toward acts and attitudes that convey love and compassion.  It appears that these virtues – love and compassion – are not always instinctual, logical or natural.  We all have times when we revert to pettiness, anger and selfishness and need a good kick in the pants to motivate us to pursue the goal set before us.

So, perhaps there is a spiritual gift of provocation, a God-given ability to call one another forth with sharpness so that we all may glorify God to the fullest.  Perhaps there is also a need among God’s people to accept that ‘spurring’ with grace and gratitude, knowing the intent of our ‘jockey’ is the attaining of our very best effort.  No one wants to hear that they need to love the heartless or hurt for the homeless; most of us are comfortable loving who we love and helping who we help.  Then we wrestle with the truth that God’s love and mercy is greater than our expressions of them, and that we need someone to remind us that we are able to do more than we think we are capable of doing.

So, appreciate those whom God uses to spur you on.  Appreciate those whom God uses to agitate you to love deeper and provoke you to act kinder.  Appreciate those with sharp words intended to soften your heart.

What We Are

We had an interesting visitor to the church the other day: a location scout.  It seems that there are plans for a major motion picture to film in Boston this fall and they were looking for a church to shoot a scene.  The scout told me they were looking for a place to film a sparsely attended funeral and she came by to take a few pictures of our sanctuary.  In the ten minutes that the location scout was taking her shots of the building, my thoughts went on a flight of fancy: what if our church was selected and we had Hollywood heavyweights filling our pews; what if our sanctuary made it into a movie; what if it were nominated for an Academy Award?

Whether or not we are chosen as a location for this movie, our church will not be captured on film.  The truth is that the church is not the building.  The building is a beautiful composition of plaster, wood, metal, asphalt and glass.  The church, on the other hand, is an even more glorious composition of personalities, abilities, experiences and passions.  The building is a specific place, but the church is a specific people.  While the building, with its carpeting and lighting, might be viewed on the big screen, our church, with its emotions and affections, cannot be experienced as entertainment.

Give my greetings to the brothers and sisters at Laodicea, and to Nympha and the church in her house.  Colossians 4:15

The above-referenced passage reveals an important truth found in numerous other passages in Scripture: there is a distinction between the church and the place where it meets (in this case “in her house”).  The early believers did not ‘go to church’ but went to a place to be with the church, to gather with sisters and brothers of faith to worship, to pray, to educate and to minister.  Church is not where the Bible tells us to go or what the Bible tells us to do, but who the Bible tells us to be.  The church is the family of God, the body and bride of Christ, and temple of the Holy Spirit.  So, maybe our building will be in the movies, but the church is too great to be preserved on celluloid.

For most, this weekend represents the end of summer and the beginning of autumn, the time when schools and colleges resume their classes.  It is also the time when churches resume their regular schedules and programs.  It would be a great time to think about gathering with the church and share your gifts, strengths and passions in ways that foster growth and increase His kingdom.  For most of us, that will mean going to a ‘house of worship’ – I dare not say going to ‘church’ – and getting together with the church – what the Greek calls ekklesia, “the ones called out”.  Join others as we celebrate that we are more than a special place on the map; we are the one whom God has called out of the culture of this world and brought together as a family of faith.

That cannot be contained in any camera’s lens.

The Melting Pot

There is a place in my neighborhood that is a microcosm of my neighborhood.  As the noontime hour approaches, you can see every demographic:  there are police officers in uniform, fire fighters in Blue BFD T-shirts, DCR lifeguards from Malibu Beach, grandchildren dressed in Vineyard Vines pants (pegged at the ankle) visiting their grandparents, National Grid workers in safety vests, lawyers in business suits, moms with strollers, politicians and fast-food clerks.  It is there where every ethnicity and lifestyle of Dorchester is represented, and men and women of every age are present.  Where is this perfect melting pot that includes everyone, from Boston Brahmin to the denizen of the triple-deckers?  As a pastor, I would like to say that I am talking about the church, but, alas, I am not.  The place that I am talking about is the deli counter at Lamberts.  At lunchtime, the line for sandwiches includes everyone that calls Dorchester home.

Ah, Lamberts, where you can get the finest sandwich eight bucks can buy.  All you have to do is hand the meat slicer your choice of roll and a list (either verbally or in writing) of ingredients, and a few minutes later, you are handed a piece of heaven wrapped in butcher paper.   But it is in that long line leading to the counter that you can brush shoulders with literally anyone and everyone.  As I wait for my turn, I wonder if this is what heaven will be like, complete with the distinct sound of dropped ‘r’s and the obligatory ‘wicked’.

“Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.”  Colossians 3:11 (NIV)

The original design for what we call the local church, according to the apostle Paul, was that it included everyone.  No one was to be excluded based on religious, cultural, national, economic or gender (cf. Gal. 3:28).  In practice, the local gatherings of the family of God routinely miss the mark.  Why can’t the people of God be like the line at Lamberts?  Why isn’t the make-up of the ‘bride of Christ’ the same as those waiting for sandwiches?  Why isn’t the church as diverse as those frequenting the local deli?

I suppose the answer to all these questions is simple: reputation.  Lamberts has the long line for their offerings because they are known, largely through word of mouth, as a provider of excellent lunches for everyone.  What is the reputation of the church?  Justified or not, Dr. Martin Luther King was quoted as saying, “…it is appalling that the most segregated hour of Christian America is eleven o’clock on Sunday morning.”  In the fifty-eight years since those words were uttered, the church has taken great strides, but there is more to be done so that the community surrounding our houses of worship verify that the local church has changed.  I hope that one day soon the same crowd at Lamberts is present at Calvary.  All we can do is spread the word, with genuine sincerity, that all are welcome to worship the Lord.

Calling Janelle

Earlier this week, I felt like a was in a bad comedy routine.  At 9:18AM on Tuesday my cell phone rang and a telemarketer asked for Janelle.  I politely told the caller that it was a wrong number and thought nothing more about it.  It happened again, from a different number, ten minutes later.  And again.  And again.  All told, I received a total of ten calls, all from different numbers and different companies, throughout the day.  I thought that surely the last call I received was going to be from Janelle, asking if she had any messages.

My life was briefly interrupted by telemarketers, each one offering some great thing to someone I never met.  Ten calls throughout the day, all looking for someone else, were a major nuisance.     In the end, I never got an answer to my question of where they got my number; I can only speculate that, perhaps, Janelle entered a contest at a mall or visited a time-share presentation.  Whatever the reason, intentional or unintentional, ten people reached out to me, thinking me to be someone I am not.

As I was answering all these calls, it struck me that there are those in our culture that will exploit one fact about us to gain access to our lives.  These telemarketers had a valid phone number and tried to take advantage of whoever would answer.  They took one vital statistic, one entry point into my life, and tried to get more.  I am relatively certain that these calls were benign, but in a world where identity theft and cybercrime is rampant, one can never be too cautious.

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.  Ephesians 4:26-27

While I am in no way equating telemarketers with the satanic (after all, I was a telemarketer for a local newspaper for about three hours), these ‘wrong numbers’ did make me think about the devil and his tactics.  As Paul’s letter to the Ephesians tells us, all it takes is a foothold, a crack or crevice in our stony exterior, for the enemy of our soul to scale our defenses and access our vulnerable spirits.  All it takes is one truth for the father of lies to breach the doors and take our lives – an embarrassing action, a hidden temptation, a word of anger, a troubled past.  The devil takes what he knows and tries to get more, just like those pesky callers to my cellphone.

The remedy to both the telemarketers and Mephistopheles is to refuse to reply.  We can, empowered by the Spirit, refuse to take the bait.  We can tell them, strongly and simply, that it is a wrong number, that the one they seek is not found here.  We can do this because one fact about us is not our identity and one forgiven action is not our lifestyle.

Now, if I could only figure out how to end those calls informing me about an urgent public announcement regarding my energy service I would be blessed beyond measure.

Mother of All Moms

According to the National Retail Federation, the average Mother’s Day shopper will spend $180, or a total of $23.1 billion.  That is a lot of flowers and jewelry.  It seems that we all want to celebrate the blessing God has given us through giving us mothers.  In recognition of Mother’s Day on Sunday, allow me to share the story of a remarkable mom who lived a few thousand years ago.  She was poor, widowed and responsible for a child.  Things have gotten so bad for her that she had given up hope.  But God has other plans for her and her child.

We really know little about this mother.  While we do not know her name or her lineage, we do know she was married, but her husband died and left her with no source of income: according to the scriptures, all she had to her name was a jar of flour and a pitcher of oil.  We also know that she was not part of the “People of God”: she was an “unclean” Gentile.  Lastly, we know that she was commanded by God to help a certain prophet of God named Elijah: she was commissioned to use that last of all she had to feed this stranger.

Before I conclude the story, allow me to digress.  I am not at all surprised that God used a mother, especially a single mother, to save Elijah.  Is there any other class of human being so willing to sacrifice as a mom?  When there are five mouths and four slices of pie, it is the mom who says, “I’m too full from dinner for dessert; you guys have it.”  When it is three AM and thundering, it is the mom who gets displaced so that her child can be comforted.  She picks up the underwear, wipes up the barf and cleans up the bathroom.  There is seemingly no need too demanding or distance too far to travel for a mom.

Getting back to the story, this mother prepares her last meal for herself, her son and her visitor.  But the flour and oil never run out.  She and her household (including the guest) were fed for three years, miraculously.  Despite the fact that they were in the midst of a global famine, God was able to meet her needs.  Just when one might think everything is going to get better, tragedy strikes when the son of this woman becomes ill and stops breathing.  No one would blame her for her outburst:

She said to Elijah, “What do you have against me, man of God?  Did you come to remind me of my sin and kill my son?”  1 Kings 17:18

After all she had sacrificed, was this really how her story was going to end?  No.  Elijah immediately cries out to God and her son’s life is restored to him.  Then they all lived happily ever after (though not together).

I thank God that the mothers I am most familiar with (both biological and metaphorical) have yet to lose hope.  They sacrificed for the sake of those they loved, expressed outrage when something hurt those they loved and never gave up hope for those they loved.  Some of that has to do with their personal resolve – they are all formidable people of character – but some of it has to do with their faith in the God who can resource and restore them as He did for a Phoenician widow, her son and her house-guest.

Happy Mother’s Day to all those who have given more than they will ever get back from their families.

No Waiting Room

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.  What is your life?  You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  James 4:14

Let me start by stating that everyone in our family is happy and healthy.  That being said, I am writing this post after a member of my family spent a night in the emergency room and a day in the hospital.  Let me repeat: everyone is perfectly fine and nothing has changed, except for one thing – my perspective.  No one begins their day planning to endure a car accident (not what happened) or a falling anvil (also not what happened) or a series of chest pains (well, there it is).  But this post is not about electrocardiograms or blood enzyme tests; this post is about me and my futile desire to preserve this mortal frame.

All this has got me thinking.  Make no mistake, I would be grateful to enter The Guinness Book of World Records by replacing Jeanne Louise Calment and becoming the longest living human (she died at 122).   I would like to see my children’s weddings and my grandchildren’s graduations.  I would like to see the Grand Canyon and the mighty redwoods.  My brain repeats the same refrain: “I still have time.”  But if this week is any indication of the realities of earthly existence, I cannot put off until tomorrow what I can do today since tomorrow is not guaranteed.

I am now left reflecting on how I spend my life (or waste it).  I work on my ‘day off’ and allow my vacation days to remain unspent.  I watch TV when I could have conversations.  When I do have conversations, my words are a lot like the last ten minutes of the late-night news (weather and sports).  I spend more time pursuing recreation and not enough time pursuing relationships.  I am stingy with my words of encouragement, my offerings of forgiveness and my displays of affection.  And now I worry that what I am saving for tomorrow I will not get a chance to spend.

“I will deal with that later.”  I will call later.”  “I will see you later.”   “I will take a break later.”  Later.  What is it about that word and the power it contains?  We all can agree that putting off making a payment or scheduling an appointment does not magically make the discomfort go away.  We all suffer regret for forgetting to make that call or neglecting to put down that project.  Even when spoken with the best of intentions, in many cases ‘later’ means ‘never’.

After the ‘health scare’ earlier this week, I am grateful for the gift of a few more tomorrows.  Yet, there is a nagging truth resonating deep within me that the gift of tomorrow is not guaranteed and that all we have is today.  This means that a must not delay the decisions or withhold the hugs that are meant for today.   I appreciate the reminder that there are some things that cannot wait until tomorrow, for that may never come.

Setting the Standard

For those of you discouraged by a 4:32PM Sunset in Boston on Sunday, you will be glad to know that an 11-member panel, created by the Massachusetts Legislature last year, spent months examining the pros and cons of effectively establishing daylight saving time year-round and eliminating the practice of setting clocks forward and back twice every year.  Their decision: move the Commonwealth into the Atlantic Time Zone (aligning ourselves with the Canadian provinces of New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, and Prince Edward Island) if all the Northeast region (including New York) agrees to change their time zone with us. 

This strikes me as nothing more than a hollow victory.  The commission’s trouble with “going it alone” is that transportation, broadcasting schedules and sporting events could all be adversely affected.  I, for one, could get used to The Tonight Show at 12:35AM, football at 2PM and early flights from Logan at 7 in the morning.  It would be a challenge calibrating ourselves with the rest of the country, but I would be willing to try.  But, because it is nearly impossible to buck the cultural norms, we in the Northeast will not experience a sunset after 5PM until February 4th; the groundhog may see the sun before I will during my drive home from work.

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.  2 Timothy 2:24

Speaking of cultural norms, we were discussing the above referenced verse of scripture and my wife remarked at how difficult it is to keep the little details of this passage.  If you think changing your Time Zone is counter-cultural, try not quarreling or being kind to everyone or releasing resentment.

  • Anyone familiar with social media knows that quarreling (or fighting) is our national pastime: there are posts (and then comments about those posts) that are divisive and combative, attacking the “opposition” both personally and indiscriminately. A follower of Christ ought not engage in these senseless squabbles.
  • If you are a driver, you know that kindness is in short supply. I realize that someone allowing me to turn into traffic is unrealistic, but I do wonder if honking the horn as the light turns green or passing on the right (through unoccupied parking spaces) on a single lane street or ignoring the ‘right lane must turn’ sign and weaving to the left at dangerous speeds are necessary.  A few verses after the above passage, Paul tells Timothy that he should be gentle with those who oppose his teaching; a follower of Christ should be restrained in exercising whatever power that follower has.
  • Life, no matter how it is lived, will contain times of deep disappointment. All but one team finishes the season without a title.  Every person will find oneself in one sort of line or another, and whatever line you find yourself in, the other one is moving faster…and has fewer bitter and angry people occupying it.  A follower of Christ should release resentment as soon as it is sensed.

God has called us to – and equipped us for – better than our culture prescribes.  No matter what time we find ourselves in, we are called to be counter-cultural: peaceable, kind and hopeful.  I suspect those godly attributes will be highly regarded during the long nights ahead.

Fasten Your Seatbelts

Members of my family recently had occasion to fly ‘home’.  Whenever anyone travels the friendly skies, others will invariably ask, “Was it a good flight?” What we are typically wondering is if it was bumpy or smooth – was there the dreaded turbulence.  Patrick Smith is a commercial airline pilot, contends that the number one producer of flight anxiety in his passengers is that pesky turbulence.  We who have never attended flight school, assume the plane’s ability to remain aloft is at risk.  But in an article he wrote for Business Insider, Smith argues that from the perspective of the pilot, turbulence is often a mere blip:

For all intents and purposes, a plane cannot be flipped upside-down, thrown into a tailspin, or otherwise flung from the sky by even the mightiest gust or air pocket.  Conditions might be annoying and uncomfortable, but the plane is not going to crash.  Turbulence is an aggravating nuisance for everybody, including the crew, but it’s also, for lack of a better term, normal.  From a pilot’s perspective, it is ordinarily seen as a convenience issue, not a safety issue.  When a flight changes altitude in search of smoother conditions, this is by and large in the interest of comfort.  The pilots aren’t worried about the wings falling off; they’re trying to keep their customers relaxed and everybody’s coffee where it belongs….  In the worst of it, you probably imagine the pilots in a sweaty lather: the captain barking orders, hands tight on the wheel as the ship lists from one side to another.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

That pretty much sums up the way life is: a great majority of us are cowering in our seats, concerned about things that will never happen, while the few who know the truth carry out their duties, unaffected by the reality of their circumstance.  We fret over our kids climbing trees and our lug nuts coming loose.  We worry over lightning strikes and dog bites.  We lose sleep over the national debt and the Red Sox prospects in the playoffs.  Instead, we would rest easier if we trusted those who have the expertise to handle these matters to handle these matters.  We would be less anxious if we let the pilot fly the plane.

My heart is not proud, LORD, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.     Psalm 131:1

My problem, and the problem of my fellow inhabitants on earth, irrespective of demography, is that we concern ourselves with matters ‘above our pay grade’.  Beyond the troubles of turbulence during our flights (or elsewhere), we regularly engage in forming opinions on matters about which we have little or no knowledge, the things that only God can fathom.  Imagine the peace we would gain when we do not concern ourselves with great matters of God – the lengths of grace, the depth of  mercy, the fullness of compassion, the vastness of forgiveness – and simply trust the one who is an expert in these things too wonderful for us.

As we travel, we will be required to endure bumps and tossing caused by the winds we encounter.  At those very moments, we need to trust the One who directs our path, the Lord Almighty.

Planting A Flag

As hard as it is for me to believe, I have been offering my ‘musings’ every week for over five years.  I am certain that in that span of time my posts have repeatedly touched upon similar themes – the constancy of change, the ubiquity of hardship and the realities of domestic life.  Hopefully, I have been faithful in my appreciation of God’s amazing grace throughout all the ups and downs of life and the ever-changing challenges and joys of ministry in ‘hub of the universe’.  I would like to think, having chronicled my thoughts for all this time, that the process has enabled me to glorify the Lord.

However, as soon as I think that I have made some progress in my reliance upon the goodness of God, I have mornings like Wednesday.   As I was walking up to the church in anticipation of a great day at vacation Bible school, I noticed a caravan of DPW trucks stationed across the street from the church’s driveway.  It seems that the sidewalk needed to be replaced and that Wednesday, July 26, was the day that the work needed to begin.   I believe that I may have mumbled something under my breath that questioned if the cosmic forces were conspiring against me.

But nothing catastrophic happened: the work crew did their exacting work, the cars all navigated the serpentine route down Ashmont Street, and all the children who were planning on attending VBS arrived and enjoyed the program.   In fact, some great things occurred, despite my initial fears to the contrary: God blessed us with a dozen children and more than a dozen volunteers (including a few new faces); the weather was gloriously mild (enabling the kids to play in the back lot); and I was utterly fascinated by the choreography of the ten DPW workers, each with a unique set of tasks, as they replaced the sidewalk when they returned to finish the job on Thursday.  I was assuming that my glass was half empty and, as usual, God gave me the whole cow.

Over and over again, God grants me grace despite my ‘doom and gloom’ prognostications.  I worry that the trucks will impede my plans, but God has something better in mind.  Over and over again, God sends showers of blessings when I expect damaging rains.  I question my circumstances, but God has answers I could never imagine.  When I think to myself that the sky is falling, my ‘Chicken Little’ mentality only serves to discourage me when God seeks to encourage my soul.   I must choose to trust in the One who causes the sun to rise and set with the details of my day.

“But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”  1 Corinthians 15:57 (ESV)

I suppose that the busyness of our street the other morning (and all the other things in life that are not going as I would prefer) has reminded me that I need to set my focus on God’s promises and not my problems.  As I have been hearing at VBS this week, above the din of activity across the street, God is mighty.  How foolish of me to wonder if God could still accomplish His will when a couple of trucks are blocking the way (He CAN!).