This Sunday we celebrate Mother’s Day. It is the day that we, as a society, honor the people in our lives who have sacrificed their sleep, their youth, their livelihoods and their plans to provide for us. We all have someone in our lives worthy of celebration – a mother (or mother-figure) who has loved, comforted, taught and trained us; a person who has given us advice, assistance and correction when we needed it; and someone who was willing to give all they had to help us achieve all we are intended to be. No human being, and therefore no mother, is perfect; they are simply closer to the ideal than the rest of us.
From last Mother’s Day to this, it has been a particularly difficult year for the three mothers in my life. The mother I was born to has been hampered by some minor health, home and hearth concerns. The mother I am married to has seen one child graduate college only to be rocked by an uncertain job market and unestablished credit, one child graduate High School only to live at a college 500 miles away, all while she was required to perform her functions as a mother in a downsized environment. The mother I gained through marriage has had the toughest year: she suffered the loss of her son in December and an extended hospitalization and rehabilitation since March. Life has not been easy for the mothers of my family.
As I witnessed how these three remarkable women coped with the challenges of life thrust upon them, it seems that I am the one who is still learning the lessons of life from these moms. Their stalwart persistence teaches me that God provides all that we need: a few dollars or a few kind words just when we are at our wits’ end. Their steadfast love teaches me that the difficulties of our day are diffused when we bear the burdens of someone else. Their sincere concern for their children teaches me that love is empowered only when it is released for the betterment of another. I am blessed by the love and care of these moms.
My son, keep your father’s command and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Proverbs 6:20
The events of the last year, and the ways that these wonderful women navigated them, reinforces in my mind the notion that we need our moms. We also need to uplift the mothers among us. Let me encourage you to celebrate the mothers around you. If your mom is still living, acknowledge the integral role she has played in your life. If all you have is memories, share one this Sunday. Recognize the full spectrum of motherhood in your community – greet the new moms, the single moms, the empty-nested moms, the mourning moms, the expectant moms, the motherly role models, the future moms, the moms who care for others’ children and the prodigals’ moms. It is a tough world and we can use all the love and encouragement we can get. Praise God this weekend that He has given us great mothers.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Earlier this week I met with a few colleagues in ministry. At some point our conversation turned to questions about how our respective churches would acknowledge Mother’s Day and the challenges that honoring mothers in worship entails. As a pastor, let me share that publicly recognizing mothers in the midst of a worship service is fraught with dangers. On any given Sunday a typical congregation includes single women of all ages longing to be married with children, married women who are facing infertility issues or stressed over an unsatisfying work/family balance, mothers who are overwhelmed with the needs of children with disabilities or raging hormones, women with expiring biological clocks, mothers of prodigals who haven’t shared a kind word with their child in years, mothers of the deceased and mothers of moderately well-adjusted offspring. What is the best thing to say before this varied audience who are all seeking comfort and strength before the throne of God?
First, we can affirm that God is sovereign. Despite the ubiquitous presence of sin, God remains in control of all creation. God is able to work through people “whose quiver is full” and whose “womb is closed” and His blessings are unrelated to any individual’s physical or relational condition. Certainly children are a blessing. So is the unconstrained time and treasure to serve others. God knows our trouble and is able to perfectly satisfy every longing heart.
Next, we can affirm that God is compassionate. Throughout scripture God is the champion of the widow and the orphan; particular to the subject at hand, God commands the people of God to care for those among them who are females without family. God hears the prayers of the childless and, occasionally, miraculously provides a child while, always, providing comfort. God promises to dry every tear shed by the faithful and replace what sin has consumed.
“And she made a vow, saying, “LORD Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.” 1 Samuel 1:11
Last, but not least, we can affirm that our greatest hope is never fully realized on earth. Not all pleas and prayers find a positive answer on earth. And all that God does provide – food, shelter, life (and even children) – do not truly belong to us; we are simply stewards of God’s blessings. Everything we possess is simply on loan from our Creator. All these temporary blessings develop a longing for God’s permanent and eternal blessings. One day, all that God promises will be realized by those who trust in Him, not on earth, but in the heavenly places. When we are gripped with longing, we can be encouraged that the Lord will satisfy our every pang.
Wherever you find yourself this Sunday and however you choose to identify yourself, allow me to wish you a Happy Mother’s Day. Join me in acknowledging the mothers among us and the blessings – of all kinds – that the Lord provides through them. And for those who will be hurting this weekend, I pray that the God of all comfort and hope will remain close to you as we acknowledge those who have been otherwise blessed.
As we celebrate Mother’s Day this weekend, allow me, as an unbiased observer, to champion an often overlooked attribute of motherhood – commiseration. According to Merriam-Webster, commiseration is ‘the expression of sorrow or compassion for another’. Mothers hurt when their child is hurt, cry when their child is crying and empathize when their child is suffering. My experience as a child and as a parent tells me that that mothers and fathers are frequently diametrically opposed when a child is sad: typically, dads are fixers and moms are feelers. We certainly can appreciate the fatherly instinct of making things right, but there is nothing like the motherly comfort of hearing, “It’ll be alright.”
Mothers are a gift from God when a child is suffering. They will comfort the 4 year-old who just showered mom’s lap with intestinal juices. They will cry at parent-teacher conferences because the educational system is in danger diminishing the potential of her child’s young mind. Mothers understand the fragility of the teenage heart during a break-up. Even well into adulthood, when their babies have babies of their own, they will encourage from a distance their son or daughter when they hear of the pain of a troubled grandchild.
Mothers are the ones who make sure that their children know that they will never be alone in the dark. They are willing to lie down at bedtime and sing lullabies when they are small and they are willing to wait up through the night when they are ill. They are the ones to whom little voices cry out in a thunderstorm and to whom big voices call when they get fired. Personally, I am blessed because when I need a word of comfort there are two places I can turn: to the mother of my children and to my own mother.
“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!” Isaiah 49:15 (NIV)
God uses as an illustration of His steadfast love the compassion of a mother. Isaiah’s words, if I could paraphrase them, are saying that while it might be possible, however logically remote, that a mother might forget a presently nursing baby, God will never forget us. God’s commiseration is exemplified by our moms. If you desire to know the heart of God for His children, talk to a nursing mom about hers!
I hope that you have the opportunity to spend time with your mom this weekend, if only via technology. I hope you have a chance to acknowledge all the times she suffered beside you.
For those who will be mourning the loss of Mom this weekend, may the truths of Isaiah 49:15 uplift your spirit.
If you are a mom, let me say this so that you hear it at least once – Thank you so much for all you do. If you are a mom with children still at home, please know what a precious calling you have and know that your commiserating is accomplishing much more than you can imagine.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
This weekend we will celebrate Mother’s Day, and moms all around the world will enjoy breakfast in bed (followed by dealing with the disaster in the kitchen), handmade cards (followed by dealing with the glitter and glue covering the carpet), and plenty of hugs and kisses (followed by requests to watch TV, go out with friends, borrow the car, or play video games). Mothering is largely a thankless job – excepting on Mother’s Day – so, on behalf of all the children, allow me to say thank you, Mom. We appreciate you, Mama. We are grateful for all you do, Mummy.
We all wish to thank you for:
- Giving up space in your comfortable beds;
- Diagnosing fevers by kissing foreheads;
- Wiping soiled bottoms and runny noses;
- Treating dandelions as if they were roses;
- Cooking nutritious meals, remembering every dislike and preference;
- Serving as a homework, project and employment reference;
- Baking cupcakes at midnight for the “bake sale tomorrow”;
- Carrying in your heart each child’s every sorrow;
- Enduring concerts, recitals and plays;
- Without notice or complaint waking early to pray;
- Ever picking up, cheering up and speaking up;
- Denying yourself when there was not enough;
- Amidst blood, vomit, stitches and casts keeping your calm;
- Chuckling inside when you overhear, “She’s just a mom”;
- Appreciating every gift and present, no matter how odd;
- And showing your kids the love that comes from God.
“I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.” 2 Timothy 1:5 (NIV)
So much of what we know about life and living comes from our mothers and grandmothers. They are the first ones to instill in us the knowledge of right and wrong, of good and bad, and of love and hatred. They were the ones who made sure we looked both ways before crossing the street. They were the ones who washed our mouths out with soap when they heard the foul language we used. They were the ones who took us to the doctor’s office for appointments, the ball field for practices and the school for rehearsals. They were the ones who read to us Dr. Seuss and “The Velveteen Rabbit”. They were the ones who made sure we were clean behind the ears and cautious behind the wheel. They typically were the ones who made sure we went to church and were quiet. They were the voice of grace and the touch of love in a harsh and hostile world.
If you are a success, by any measure of the word, you likely have your mom to thank. If your children are, or ever will be, a success it is likely to be because of their mother, too. There is a Jewish proverb which states:
“God couldn’t be everywhere, so He created mothers.”
Today is not the day to quibble over theology – Mothers are a gift from God! Appreciate that gift this weekend by remembering your mom (and men, don’t forget to remember your kids’ mom as well.)
And do her a favor…clean the kitchen after the kids make your breakfast.