Tag Archives: maturity

The Cost of Compassion

A particular scene from my favorite movie (“It’s A Wonderful Life”) has been playing on a loop in my mind.  In that scene, there is a run on the banks and the Bailey Bros. Building & Loan is filled with people wanting their deposited funds.  George Bailey, our protagonist, explains that this is not how the banking system worked; he tells them that they would get their money – which had been loaned to others – in 60 days.   This arrangement is not workable for some, so George gives away his honeymoon money to tide the community over, to save his company and to rescue the town.  The first withdrawal is for the full amount of the account, $242.  The next asks for $40, and the following seeks $20.  Then there is Miss Davis:

George: “What do you need, Miss Davis?”

Miss Davis: “Can I have $17.50?”

I wonder what calculations were made to come up with Miss Davis’ figure.  Why not simply go along with the rest and ask for $20?  What was she doing without so that another person in her community might have $2.50?  I am now, in this time of ‘social distancing’ and ‘stay-at-home’ advisories, doing some quick math myself.  What do I need?  What am I entitled to?  What can I survive without so that another might have what they need?

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.  Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:3-4

As I walk (and I am walking alot these days), I come across people who are not maintaining six feet distance between themselves and me.  On those rare occasions that I venture into a grocery stores, I find that some of the shelves are bare of ‘essential goods’, and I am required to go home without purchasing such things as food staples and tissue of every variety while others have been able to maintain a stockpile of Charmin inside their front porch door.  We need more people with the heart of Miss Davis, those who know the extent to their need, acquire just that and conscientiously leave enough for the needs of others.

No one is advocating that we do without what is needed.  No one is seeking to infringe on your rights as an individual to amble where you want and accumulate what you want.  What is being advocated by governmental leaders and healthcare providers is that we practice humility; that we value those around us as much as we value ourselves and look to their interests as much as we look to our own.  As hard as it might be, we all will be better off if we use only what we need and leave the rest for others.  Perhaps that $2.50 could provide 2-ply for an octogenarian or hand sanitizer for the pizza delivery driver.  And besides, ‘social distance’ is free.

As we face another month (or more) of voluntary sacrifice, my prayer is that we will find that it would not be burdensome to keep the wise principles of God’s word (whether they are found in the inspired writings of Paul or the inspiring movies of Frank Capra).  Rather, may we find these truths to be liberating in our lives – body, soul and spirit.

 

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‘Til We Meat Again

It will come as no surprise to those who know me that my favorite meal includes hamburgers: every birthday supper that I can remember involved hamburgers, as did nearly every recommendation I made for our dining-out options as a family.  It is the perfect food, starting with a soft bun, continuing with a cool tomato and lettuce leaf, then accented with condiments and cheese, and completed with the juicy ground beef.  I enjoy every kind of burger – the good at Fuddrucker’s (with more toppings than meat), the bad at McDonald’s (thin and oniony),  and the messy at Red Robin (with a fried egg on top) – but I particularly enjoy a home-made grilled hamburger. 

Unfortunately, for the last three years, our family remained grill-less.  Sure, we had an electric ‘grill’ that griddle-fried meats outside, but (no offense to George Foreman) it was not the same.  However, my grill-less condition ended when I celebrated my birthday eight weeks ago.  That was the day that my family gifted me a gas/charcoal/smoker grill.  It took 51 days before the weather was warm enough, but finally (with the tremendous assistance from my three boys) we assembled the grill on Sunday afternoon.

Unfortunately, the grill did not come with a propane tank. So, after waiting another day, on Monday afternoon my wife and I patronized BJ’s for a tank and 6 pounds of ground beef.  We were ready to grill!

Unfortunately, the tank was empty and there are surprisingly few locations where a propane tank can be filled.  We would have to wait another day.  Finally, on Tuesday we went to Neponset Circle Car Wash and got 20 pounds of propane.  And then, at 5:30 Tuesday afternoon, I began grilling burgers in my backyard.  They were the best burgers I have consumed in quite a while; sure, they were arguably rare and perhaps more bloody than juicy, but they were delicious.

My home-made grilled burgers were definitely worth the wait.  Despite my contention that I abhor waiting, I admit that the anticipation that comes with expected blessings is fantastic.  If you have ever watched an unboxing video on YouTube or stirred restlessly on Christmas Eve, you know what I mean.  We are rapt with what might be in the box or what might be in the present or what might be for dinner.  My grill is a reminder that I can be consumed with the bitter taste that comes with waiting or content with the sweet savor of the blessings to come.

…but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 (ESV)

Where is your heart today?  Is it heavy and burdened because you no longer want to wait?  Is it uplifted and invigorated with the sure and certain hope of things to come?  There are times when we must wait – for results, for relationships, for rewards – and that waiting can be draining.  At those times remember what you are waiting for and then enable God to refresh you in the process.  As for me, I will think about that as I enjoy some perfectly cooked ground beef surrounded by a grilled cheese sandwich.

Safe Cracking

After watching the local news recently, I have come to the conclusion that most of us are obsessed with safety.  We are willing to do whatever is required to be safe from illness, as is evident by the shortages of bottled water and hand sanitizer at our nation’s ‘big box’ retailers to prevent the spread of COVID-19.  We are willing to invest significant resources to be safe from crime, installing video doorbells and high-tech security systems to prevent break-ins.  Our hearts break due to our insecurities arising from natural disasters, expecting that sirens and first responders ought to keep us from the harm of tornados or wildfire.  We expect that we, and those we love, ought to be safe from the dangers of life.

Despite all our sacrifices at the altar of safety, we remain at risk.  Emergency rooms across the country will still be filled today with those who suffered injury.  Prisons throughout the world will be filled today with people unjustly convicted to serious crimes.  Homeless shelters and food banks in urban areas will be filled by individuals and families who have been ravaged by systemic poverty.  We will continue to face illness and injustice.  We will be overshadowed by disaster and need.  We will be plagued with injury and crime.  No matter what we give – offering our power, our possessions and our priorities – safety is persistently fickle.

It is for many a troubling reality that God does not promise safety for those who follow Him.  However, we can be comforted by the reality that He does promise us Himself.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.  Isaiah 43:2 (NIV)

“I will be with you” – through the waters and through the flames.  In the Bible, references to water typically represent chaos (e.g. the creation narrative) and references to fire typically represent judgement (e.g. the book of Revelation).  We all know that life can be chaotic, messy and disruptive.  When it is, and we feel unsafe, we can take comfort in the truth that God is with us.  We also know that life is filled with the consequences of bad acts, committed by our own hands or by the hands of others.  When it is, and we feel like the world is conspiring against us for our ruin, we can have peace in the truth that God is with us through it all.

We can choose to put our faith and trust in the thoughts and plans birthed by human ingenuity or put our faith and trust in the one who designed and created every human mind.  We are wise when we take precautions, refusing to be consumed by the fears that come with uncertainty and insecurity.  Whatever you face this week, you should know that God goes with you.  This world is a scary place, but thankfully we are never alone.

Seeds and Fruit

When we were vacationing last week, we spent a few hours with our nephew and his family.  As we were walking through their backyard, our niece-in-law was showing us her extensive garden.  She showed us the lettuce and carrots, some of which had been eaten by rascally rabbits.  Then, pointing to some large leaves (which we speculated might have been collard greens or kale), she said, “Those were supposed to be beets, but I think the seeds were mislabeled.”  I admit that I do not have a green thumb, but I have grown a few vegetables over the years; what I know about seeds is simple – that many of them look similar and it is not until you see their growth that you know for sure what they will produce.

This reality has reminded me of two biblical truths, one positive and one negative.  First, the ‘bad news’: Jesus taught his disciples that you don’t pick figs from thornbushes.  Next, the ‘good news’: God’s good creation is designed in such a way that every plant produces fruit according to its kind.

By their fruit you will recognize them.  Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?  Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.  A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.  Matthew 7:16-18 (NIV)

You don’t pick grapes from thornbushes.  You don’t pick figs from thistles.  You don’t plant carrots and get apples.  Cucumber seeds produce cucumbers, even when they are labeled as tomato seeds.  The biblical truth (and agricultural truth) is that you get what you planted, not what you thought you planted.  This is, however, not all bad news.  Some of us, those who were labeled as “stupid” or “damaged” or “worthless”, need to be reminded that our envelope doesn’t determine our end.  We are what we are, not what others say we are.

Every plant produces fruit according to its kind.  The rosebush produces roses.  The pea plant produces peas.  The grapevine produces grapes.  You understand my point.  Even though we might be mislabeled or missorted, we all are capable of producing, and only producing, fruit in accordance with our nature.  When we are properly fed, watered and pruned, we are all beneficial.  This is, unequivocally, good news: God has made you, just as you are, so that you will produce your own particular kind of fruit.  You can do no other task.

Susan’s garden, and the scriptural musings that those plants by the back fence have piqued, have left me with a question: what were you born to do?  Whatever the answer, regardless of the ways you’ve been labeled, cultivate your core and bear fruit accordingly.  Allow yourself to be fed by God over time and develop deep roots.  Creatively pursue the passions of your heart, knowing that the fruit of an apple tree, for example, could be a cider, a sauce or a pie.  The world needs what only you can offer.

Defining Love

Like an estimated 102 million other people, I watched the Super Bowl a few week ago.  It was a great end to the NFL season.  However, what will remain with me for much longer than the play on the field was a particularly moving commercial that ran relatively early in the broadcast.  Paid for by New York Life, it began by stating that the ancient Greeks had four words for love.  According to the advertisement:

  • “Philia is affection that grows from friendship”;
  • “Storgé – the kind [of love] you have for a grandparent or a brother”;
  • “Eros – the uncontrollable urge to say ‘I love you’”; and
  • “Agapé, the most admirable – love as an action; it takes courage, sacrifice, and strength.”

Maybe it was the mention of ancient Greek, a language with which I wrestle for comprehension every week.  Maybe it was the powerful visuals of the varied aspects of love.  Whatever the reason, I was captivated by the commercial and its message: that love takes action.

Fast-forward twelve days to today, Valentine’s Day, the (inter)national holiday celebrating love.  I wonder, in light of this commercial, which love we are celebrating as we exchange cards?  Are we appreciating the love of our friends, or our family, or our ‘significant other’, or those who sacrifice to provide all that we require?  It is likely that today will be, to some degree, a recognition of the first three loves, but especially focused on our romantic loves.  Restaurants will be patronized, florists will be utilized and confectioners will be supported.

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  1 Corinthians 13:4-7

At the same time, there will be many celebrating Valentine’s Day in other ways and in other places.  They will visit the nursing home and spoon-feed their mom supper.  They will drop by a cemetery and pull the weeds around their husband’s marker.  They will assist their daughter into a transport van and accompany her to physical therapy.  They will sit in the hospital with their 8-year old son as he undergoes treatment for leukemia.  These are the ones who will be demonstrating agapé love today, and tomorrow, not because it is Valentine’s Day, but because that is what ‘love as an action’ looks like.

I hope that everyone who is reading this has a Valentine, someone who will say to you today (with accoutrements or not), “I love you”.  I hope you will enjoy a Whitman Sampler or a Reese’s heart, a nice candle-lit prix-fixe dinner, or a bouquet of lilies.  I pray even more that everyone who is reading this today has someone who has shown them agapé – that sacrificial, surrendering, willful emptying of themselves for the sake of another.  I am blessed to know that kind of love.  I pray you are as well.

Happy St. Valentine’s Day (or in Greek, ευτυχισμένη ημέρα του Αγίου Βαλεντίνου)!

Wayfaring Stranger

This month, as we have in previous years, my wife, Jeanine, and I are attempting to see all the movies that have been nominated for the best picture Oscar©.  Due to this challenge, we watched Sam Mendes’ World War I drama 1917, which depicts a harrowing day experienced by two British soldiers.   I cannot say, at this point, if I would vote for it as the best picture (we still have a few more films to see), but I will say that it has one of the most moving scenes I have watched on film in quite a while.  After facing the vast variety of experiences that comes with each life – from the beauty of cherry blossoms in bloom to the gruesome ravages of war – one of the film’s protagonists hears the haunting words of a Civil War folk song called “The Wayfaring Stranger”.

I am a poor wayfaring stranger

Travelling through this world of woe.

And there’s no sickness, no toil or danger

In that fair land to which I go.

I’m going there to meet my father,

I’m going there no more to roam;

I’m only going over Jordan,

I’m only going over home.

I know dark clouds will gather round me,

I know my way will be rough and steep;

But golden fields lie out before me

Where all the saints their vigils keep.

I’m going there to meet my mother,

I’m going there no more to roam;

I’m only going over Jordan,

I’m only going over home.

I thought about that song this week, as the news cycles repeatedly reminded us of the brokenness inherent within each life – young people whose lives were taken much too soon, others who were struck by a viral epidemic, and governmental leaders accused of high crimes and misdemeanors.  We are all traveling through this world of woe.  I wonder how many are facing the realities of sickness, toil and danger with the perspective referenced in this song from a previous generation.  Despite fifteen decades of advances in medicine, technology, education and civility, we are still “wayfaring strangers”.

Instead, they were longing for a better country – a heavenly one.  Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.  Hebrews 11:16 (NIV)

In those seasons of sorrow, be assured that there is a land – prepared for all who trust in the benevolence of God – that is devoid of sadness, filled with golden fields and occupied by those we love.  The physical world we see every day is not all that there is or all that God has provided for us; there is a home that is awaiting all those who are aware that it is just beyond our gaze.  There is a war still being waged all around us, despite the occasional glimpses of beauty.  There is also a place of peace with boundless splendor awaiting those who faithfully traverse the rugged terrain of earth.

As depicted in 1917, there are circumstances in life when we are faced with exhaustion and entertain thoughts of surrender.  In those moments, remember that Christ has prepared for us a home.

Done on Purpose

As a church, we have begun the new year by participating in a denominational initiative called “21 Days of Prayer”.  This year our intercessory practices and our focus has been directed by a resource titled Praying the King’s Agenda.  This booklet has helped us hear what Jesus has said to us in His word and then pray about it in humble obedience.  Each day the participants of this program have read a command from the Lord and, after some guided reflection, prayed for a faithful response to that command.

Recently (Day 17 of the program), I was directed to ask help of the one who said, “I will make you fishers of men.”  The daily command of Jesus is found in Matthew 4:19 (“And he said to them, ‘Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.’”)  Jesus spoke these words to the first of his disciples as he gave them a purposeful direction.   He gave them direction (“Follow me”) and purpose (“I will make you fishers of men”).  He gives us the same direction and purpose.

Most of us are comfortable with the idea that we are commanded to follow Jesus: to walk with him, to stay with him and to submit our plans to him.  This is the first step in any walk of faith.  We are called to accept Jesus as our Lord.  We may not all heed the command, but we all can understand it.

Many more of us are hesitant to embrace the second half of this verse, to acknowledge his purpose for our lives.  We hear about becoming “people fishers” and we shake our heads.  Maybe we have an aversion to fishing or cannot relate to the metaphor.  But I do not think that the significant truth is about the fishing; it is about the making.  We are called to follow so that Christ can make us into what we are: for Peter, Andrew, James and John – who were fishers of fish – it was making them fishers of people; for us – who are accountants, artists, cashiers and coders – it may be making us those professions for God.  This is the second step in any walk of faith.  We are called to follow Jesus toward discipleship.

At once they left their nets and followed him.  Matthew 4:20 (NIV)

As I was directed to pray about this command, I was struck by the response of the initial audience.  They dropped their nets, their livelihoods and their preferences and went after the Lord.  They followed Jesus and, over time, he reshaped their talents, training and abilities into purpose.  Christ desires the same for us; to transform what we are already doing into something more glorious and fulfilling.

This is something the Lord does in us and for us; He will make us what we are intended to be.  Therefore, it is in our best interest that we ask Jesus for help, help to follow and help to surrender.   Those four young fishermen had no idea what wonders awaited them when they went with Jesus.  Neither will we, unless we follow him and allow him to make us more than we can imagine.

Winning While Losing

There are a whole bunch of people around me who are acting like the prophet Jonah, as recorded in Jonah 4 (Jonah is despairing to the point of death over the withering of a weed as he witnesses the repentance of the people of Nineveh).  Like the Old Testament prophet, they are disappointed that things did not go their way, pouting due to a perceived personal slight and an actual adversary’s blessing.  These community members are distraught over the Patriots’ early exit from the NFL playoffs – not that they had a losing season (they won three times the games they lost this season) or failed to make the playoffs (unlike 20 other teams), but that they simply did not advance to the Super Bowl.

Instead of rejoicing in the blessing that the home team has appeared in nine or the last eighteen Super Bowls, they are mourning their demise; they might find partners in commiseration in fans of the Cleveland Browns, Detroit Lions, Jacksonville Jaguars or Houston Texans, who have never been to the championship game.  Instead of reflecting on the good times experienced in six NFL titles (and six more by the professional sports teams in the Boston area), they disparage the players and coaches; I suggest these sentiments not be shared with the fans of the Vikings, Bills, Bengals, Falcons, Panthers, Cardinals, Titans or Chargers, who have never won a single Super Bowl.

As human beings, we are susceptible to the temptation of maximizing our self-importance and minimizing the value of others.  We expect our lives to be a series of progressive blessings and we resent when others are blessed besides us, or – the horror – instead of us.  Jesus share a parable about it when he shared the story of a vineyard manager who paid the first workers in the field (who worked a full day) and the last workers (who worked less than an hour) the same amount.  Can you imagine?  Those first workers (who we naturally identify with) got what was fair; the last workers (slackers if you ask me) received way more than they deserved.  Jesus concludes his object lesson with the response of the vineyard foreman:

“Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money?  Or are you envious because I am generous?’  Matthew 20:15 (NIV)

As a fan of the New England Patriots, I have been compensated handsomely over the past nineteen seasons.  And the greater truth remains that God can (and does) bless others with compensation just as handsome as mine.  There will be a new champion in a new town – maybe Minnesota, Nashville or Houston for the first time – and I am good with that.  I am glad that God is so generous.   And know this: His generosity is not limited to football games but extends to every area of life.  We are wise to rejoice with those who rejoice instead of mourning that it is not our day in the sun.  And who knows, maybe Duck Boats will still carry a champion (the Bruins, Celtics or Red Sox) this year!

Easy Breezy Meezy

It seems hard to believe that “Y2K” was twenty years ago.  Do you remember all the troubles that were anticipated, all because experts were not sure if computers, which were programmed with a two-digit place setting for the year, would operate as normal when they registered 2000 or crash when they reverted to 1900?  We were filled with anxiety as we waited to see if the utilities would continue to operate and banking software would still be running after the ball dropped.  As it turned out, we worried for nothing: the world was unphased by the change in millennium as all the electronic components of 21st century life performed as required.

Much has happened over the past ten years for my family as well.  We enjoyed 4 graduations, we celebrated a number of big birthdays (including both Jeanine and I turning 50 in the 2010s), we moved residences three times, and we travelled more than a hundred thousand miles.  If I can be honest, I have worried about a great deal of things over the past ten years – will the kids finish High School, be accepted into a college of their choice and come home on occasion?  Will we be able to find a suitable residence for our family’s needs?  Will the days ahead be kind?  I thank God that the previous decades have been filled with great blessing.

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?  Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?  Luke 12:25-26 (NIV)

I have been joking with my wife and children that the Mike of 2020 is “easy, breezy” (which my youngest now has co-opted as “Covergirl Dad”), but my resolution is serious – I am consciously trying to release my inner anxiety about the things that I cannot control and release the reins on the things that I can control; thus, I will be easy and breezy.  This desire to be more relaxed has made me inventory the things that I control, which turns out to be a surprisingly short list: I control my decisions, my reactions and my responses.

This year, and decade, I will make a concerted effort to make and maintain wise decisions, and not regularly revisiting the angst inherent in the process.  I will try to express genuine reactions which are filled with grace and edification.  I will offer thoughtful and profitable responses, refusing to delve into the bad habit of pessimism.  I will not worry about whether I made the right decision, the appropriate reaction or the proper response.  I will ‘go with the flow”.   And in order to do this, I will seek the Spirit’s leading each new day and trust His transforming power at work within me.

If I hope to cease in my worrying, if I am dedicated to an easy, breezy disposition, I will need to place all my angst and anxiety somewhere.  So I am claiming 1 Peter 5:7 as my memory verse for 2020:

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.  1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)

Heavenly Laughter

It was the best of plans: I had wrapped my son’s birthday present (his first cell phone) and placed it with the others on the dining room table, and then I typed up a text to the family giving out his number but was waiting until the right moment push ‘send’.  We proceeded with his party (the menu for our freshly minted 12 year-old’s festivities was Ring Dings and Wattamelon Roll), which we enjoyed before the opening of the gifts.  As we were about to get on with the gift-giving, there was a muffled ring coming from the pile.  It was the phone.  Had I mistakenly sent out the text? (I quickly checked, and I had not.)  It turns out a telemarketer had ruined our surprise, but in the process created an unexpectedly wonderful birthday memory.

“Mann Tracht, Un Gott Lacht” is a Yiddish proverb which means, “Man Plans, and God Laughs.”  No matter how much we plan, life is messy and things often do not go as imagined.  Josh’s birthday party made me think about Jesus’ birthday; the life his parents experienced was certainly not as planned.  There was an unplanned pregnancy (from their perspective), a thwarted divorce, a rejected reservation, an unexpected visit (or two) from strangers and an unforeseen move.  It was a year (or two) of chaos and confusion that neither Mary nor Joseph could have imagined.  Yet, God was with them and was creating something unexpectedly wonderful.

If ever there was a time in human history when God orchestrated a course correction in the affairs of His creation, the birth of the Messiah was that time.  God sent Gabriel to Mary to tell her, “Do not be afraid…”  God sent an angel in a dream to Joseph to tell him, “Do not be afraid….”, and another (also in a dream) to tell him to travel to Egypt to protect his family.  God sent angels to the shepherds to tell them, “Do not be afraid….”  God warned the Magi, in a dream, to return home by another way so as to avoid Herod and protect the Lord.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

As I see it, we all have a choice to make when things do not seem to go as planned: we can scowl and think that all is ruined, or we can smile and thank God for His intercession.  Our reaction when “things don’t go our way” reveals who we think is in charge of the details of our lives.  Especially during this season, we need to face the facts that our plans may not go as expected: cookies will burn, airlines will have delays, products will be back-ordered, illnesses will invade our homes and sentimental ornaments will break.  These things might be God’s way of correcting your course, adjusting your plans and preparing you for something unexpectedly wonderful.

“Mann Tracht, Un Gott Lacht”.  I hope you hear Him.