All my life I have been encouraged to be a good boy (or a good man). Growing up, I must have heard the command to “be good” a thousand times, whether it was just before visiting a friend’s house or the local library. After I was particularly incorrigible as a child, I was warned that I might be dropped off at the “bad boy store” by my frustrated mother – in hindsight, I recognize the absurdity of the reality of this establishment, but at the time the notion that I could be chattel for this nefarious business worked well in keeping me on the straight and narrow. However, I was not always a good boy.
As I grew up into manhood, I have tried to be a good man. I think I have succeeded, to a greater of lesser degree. However, “the bad man store” may have a new item for sale. In my defense, the event I am about to describe occurred during the Patriots game on Sunday. As I was watching the game (the outcome of which at the time was still in question), trouble came to our house. As she was making sure our youngest was ready for bed, my wife hit her head – hard – on the upper bunk of the boys’ bed. While there was no blood, there was a bump. It least that is what I was told. I had little compassion and provided no care. I was not a good husband or a good father. I was wrong, and I sincerely apologize to my wife for my lapse in judgement. I am not always a good man.
When I became a follower of Christ, I tried to be a good Christian. I have a long list of good and godly behaviors – with appropriate measures of church attendance, charitable giving and acts of service – but I am not a good Christian. I am in danger of being shipped off to the “bad Christian store” because my practice of the faith is incomplete, my priority of Christ’s lordship is inconsistent and my passion for the gospel is anemic. I continue to sin. I continue to fail. I do not pray as much as I should nor share my faith as frequently as I should. I am not always a good Christian.
But who can discern their own errors? Forgive my hidden faults. Psalm 19:12
My problem is that I am lulled into believing that I am (overall) good. I compare myself to others and I see myself as measuring up pretty well against the competition. But, as the Psalm above states, I am unable to rightly evaluate my own goodness. I need forgiveness for the things I cannot see in myself. I need the truth of God to be my standard and not my own heightened sense of self. In comparison to the standards of the Scriptures (which are beneficial for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness), I am, by nature, a bad boy, a bad man and a bad Christian.
But that is not how God sees me: because I have trusted Jesus as Lord and Savior, I have been justified (declared not guilty by God through His acceptance of Christ’s sacrificial satisfaction of God’s wrath) and sanctified (anointed, appointed and equipped to accomplish His will). I am seen by God as good, and that motivates me to demonstrate this divinely imbued goodness. It also motivates me to remember that this goodness is not from me, but from the one who redeemed me so that I might do some good. I thank God that He enables me to be a good person, a sinner saved by His grace.
I heard the following quote from a podcast earlier this week:
“If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.” – G.K. Chesterton
Upon hearing it, I did a quick Google© search to check its veracity. It is, in fact, genuine. Chesterton (a writer, poet and lay theologian from England) did write these words at the end of the fourteenth chapter of his 1910 book What’s Wrong with the World. The context for the quote was the education of children and the point of his comments were to do what is necessary, even if it is done poorly.
Our society, at first blush, seems to contradict Chesterton’s words by telling us that if it is worth doing, it is worthy doing well. Chesterton’s point, and my reasoning for quoting him, does not disagree with this prevailing wisdom. When we endeavor to accomplish a task – in the home, in the workplace or in the church – we ought to do our best. We must not enter into the essential activities of life half-heartedly. That being said, we rarely are able to accomplish our best, whether it be due to an inaccessibility of resources, an insufficiency of energy or a lack of passion.
When our best work and our real work are incongruent, we tend to get discouraged, and when we get discouraged, we quit. We flip the above-stated cultural mandate on its head and think to ourselves, “if I cannot do this well, I should not do it at all.” That is where Chesterton comes in, reminding us that it is perfectly acceptable to do something, even if it is done badly. We are always to do things to the best of our abilities, understanding that there are days when our best is bad. On those days, instead of giving up the fight, we can resolve to do better the next time.
My life is full of moments when I am doing what is worth doing, but doing it badly. There are times when I am hungry and I diet badly. There are times when I am angry and communicate badly. There are times when I am lonely and manage my time badly. There are times when I am tired and pray with the family badly. There are times when I preach badly, teach badly, father badly, husband badly, perform sonly duties badly and witness badly. But I do not quit, and instead commit to doing better the next time.
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 2 Corinthians 4:7
As Paul reminded the early church in Corinth, we are simple, easily broken, earthen vessels. Anything we do, any excellence we accomplish, any power we display is not from us; it is from God. We cannot (and are not expected to) do everything well every time. We will, occasionally, do things badly. But we will do them because they are worth doing. I pray we all will always be doing good, even when we can only do it badly.
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9 (NIV)
Most of us are accustomed to seeing things as either good or bad. There tends to be very little ambiguity in our conception of what is right in our lives and what is wrong. We would all likely agree that hospitalizations, evictions, firings, rainstorms and car accidents are bad things. We would all also agree that promotions, vacations, weddings, days of unlimited sunshine and occasions for a party are good things. We all seek ways to avoid the bad and embrace the good as we go about our daily routines. We all try to move past those dark moments and move into the brighter ones.
There is an alternative to this black and white thinking, however; what if every moment had the opportunity for good or bad? This point came through to me the other night as a group of men and I studied the first two chapters of the book of Daniel. For those of you unaware of the plot of this portion of the Old Testament scripture, let me give you a brief synopsis:
- In 605 BC the nation of Babylonia conquered the tribe of Judah and took the choicest items and individuals back to its capital city;
- Four Judean young men from among the captives brought to Babylon were raised up to the positions of chief advisor to the king;
- When the king’s dream went uninterpreted by the Babylonian magicians or enchanters, Daniel – one of the four Judean youths – told the king what he had dreamt and what it meant.
One would think that being conquered by a foreign government would be a bad thing, yet the Bible states, “And the Lord gave Jehoiakim king of Judah into his hand, with some of the vessels of the house of God (Daniel 1:2 ESV).” God gave the people and land of Judah over to Nebuchadnezzar. Is God bringing about bad things for His people?
Righteousness will go before him and make his footsteps a way. Psalm 85:13 (ESV)
Simply stated, the answer is no. We know this because we can also see that God gave the four youths “favor and compassion in the sight of the chief of the eunuchs (Daniel 1:9 ESV)” and gave Daniel “understanding in all visions and dreams (Daniel 1:17 ESV)”. We even know that after Daniel sought God’s mercy in the matter of the king’s dream, “the mystery was revealed to Daniel in a vision of the night (Daniel 2:19 ESV)”. Through all those assumptively dark moments in Daniel’s life, God was there equipping Daniel for a great blessing – for the interpretation of the dream given to that secular leader of that secular nation was that all the great kingdoms of the earth will be crushed by the kingdom of heaven, which will rule forever.
If I were Daniel, I would have had many questions as I took the long journey from Jerusalem to Babylon. I would have wondered if God was with me in the midst of this awful situation. I think the same questions surface when our good lives are interrupted by hospitalizations, evictions, firings, rainstorms and car accidents. Perhaps we can gain a lesson from Daniel and expect that God has a good purpose in all of lives moments, sometimes something for us and sometimes something for those around us. Perhaps God could use some of us to interpret the visions God has given to someone who would deny His very existence. Perhaps we could be used as a rainbow in the midst of another person’s storm.
Today’s post marks a milestone for me: this is number 100. I’d like to say that in the weekly musings about ministry I’ve made over the last two years that I’ve learned something, that I’ve made some progress. Through writing about my experiences in trusting God through the departing of our oldest to college and our moving to a new house, I’d like to think that I’ve grown. Through sharing about the visits to the eye doctor and the ‘sheltering in place’ a year ago I hope that I have matured. Through the triumphs and travails of ministering in a big city small church I pray I’ve developed in character and integrity.
I guess the most important lesson I’ve learned in looking back through the posts is that God doesn’t promise us pretty; He promises us good. Most of the time my life is a mess. If you’ve spent any time reading what I’ve written in the past 99 posts, you know I’m right. I have a wonderful wife that I don’t appreciate as I should. I have four wonderful children that are often sticky and frustrating and grating and great. I have a fabulous extended family and a few friends that I forget to call and fail to acknowledge more often than I should. I have been blessed to work and minister alongside an amazing congregation full of quirks and questions that I more than occasionally fail to appreciate or address.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 (NIV)
Like I said, God doesn’t promise pretty; He promises good. As the Apostle Paul said in his letter to the church in Rome, God works all things – both the glorious and the ghastly things – for the good of those who love Him. I find great comfort in the fact that God does, in fact, bless this mess; that He can fashion something good out of all these ugly incidents in my life. God can take all the mistakes and missteps that one can make and form them into something fantastic. While there may never, on this side of glory, be a way to make sense of much of the disasters we must deal with, they are never senseless before God.
So what will the next 100 posts detail? I can only assume it will not be pretty: it will snow on Sunday mornings, I will suffer insect bites that make my arm turn blue, those I love will be hurt, there will be days of great losses and confusing forks in the road. There will also be beauty: I will (presumably) celebrate my 25th anniversary, people will grow in faith, there will be graduations and birthdays, victories and gains. There will be peaks and valleys. But it will all be good … eventually and ultimately.
Thank you to all who have taken the time to read my posts. I hope that I have provided some encouragement along the way. If I have, I guess that is pretty good.