Tag Archives: Compassion

Tell the Truth

It all began with a conversation around the dinner table.  I had mentioned an incident of public confession at a church we had visited a few years ago.  This then led to a question from my 17-year old son: “We’re not supposed to do that; doesn’t the Bible say that the right hand shouldn’t know what the left one does?”  This then turned into a discussion about the natures of pride and humility.  There we sat, with a table full dirty dishes between us, engaging in a conversation about the revolutionary demands of following Christ.

My son was right.  The Bible does say:

But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing….   Matthew 6:3

We shouldn’t let one hand know what the other is doing.  However, the context of this verse is explicit: we do this when we give to the needy.  Jesus, as part of his Sermon on the Mount, commanded his followers to maintain no memory of the good things we do.  We must not let ourselves know what we’ve done, let alone others.  We are to practice humility when it comes to acts of good will.

My son was also mistaken.  The Bible also says:

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.  James 5:16

We should be confessing our sins to each other, in proportion to the breadth of the offense and the depth of our relationship.  James commands Christ’s followers to maintain accountability for the bad things we do, otherwise we are in danger of damaging our souls and dropping into prideful arrogance.  We need to practice humility when it comes to acts of ill will.  

All this caused my son, in resignation, to say that what we were saying was messed up.  But the fact remains that the ways of the world – celebrating our altruism publicly and covering our mistakes privately – are diametrically opposed to the ways of the Lord – admitting our mistakes publicly and allowing our acts of kindness to remain private.  All who follow Jesus cannot follow the patterns of the culture, and instead of ‘cleaners’ and ‘plausible deniability’ we must embrace confession and transparency.

This is truly a revolutionary lifestyle.  While everyone around us might tell us to take pride in our positive accomplishments, we need to remain humble.  While everyone around us might tell us not to dwell on our mistakes, we need to deal with our sin.  This requires us to rely on God’s Spirit to lead us – to trust that He sees the good that we do (even when no one else does) and will reward us and to know that He sees the bad that we do (even though no one else might) and will forgive us.

So, we who know Jesus as Lord and Savior must admit our weaknesses to someone and expect no one to know our goodness.  In a world drenched in abuse and aggression, a posture of humility like this would go a long way to addressing some of the pain.

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No Waiting Room

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.  What is your life?  You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  James 4:14

Let me start by stating that everyone in our family is happy and healthy.  That being said, I am writing this post after a member of my family spent a night in the emergency room and a day in the hospital.  Let me repeat: everyone is perfectly fine and nothing has changed, except for one thing – my perspective.  No one begins their day planning to endure a car accident (not what happened) or a falling anvil (also not what happened) or a series of chest pains (well, there it is).  But this post is not about electrocardiograms or blood enzyme tests; this post is about me and my futile desire to preserve this mortal frame.

All this has got me thinking.  Make no mistake, I would be grateful to enter The Guinness Book of World Records by replacing Jeanne Louise Calment and becoming the longest living human (she died at 122).   I would like to see my children’s weddings and my grandchildren’s graduations.  I would like to see the Grand Canyon and the mighty redwoods.  My brain repeats the same refrain: “I still have time.”  But if this week is any indication of the realities of earthly existence, I cannot put off until tomorrow what I can do today since tomorrow is not guaranteed.

I am now left reflecting on how I spend my life (or waste it).  I work on my ‘day off’ and allow my vacation days to remain unspent.  I watch TV when I could have conversations.  When I do have conversations, my words are a lot like the last ten minutes of the late-night news (weather and sports).  I spend more time pursuing recreation and not enough time pursuing relationships.  I am stingy with my words of encouragement, my offerings of forgiveness and my displays of affection.  And now I worry that what I am saving for tomorrow I will not get a chance to spend.

“I will deal with that later.”  I will call later.”  “I will see you later.”   “I will take a break later.”  Later.  What is it about that word and the power it contains?  We all can agree that putting off making a payment or scheduling an appointment does not magically make the discomfort go away.  We all suffer regret for forgetting to make that call or neglecting to put down that project.  Even when spoken with the best of intentions, in many cases ‘later’ means ‘never’.

After the ‘health scare’ earlier this week, I am grateful for the gift of a few more tomorrows.  Yet, there is a nagging truth resonating deep within me that the gift of tomorrow is not guaranteed and that all we have is today.  This means that a must not delay the decisions or withhold the hugs that are meant for today.   I appreciate the reminder that there are some things that cannot wait until tomorrow, for that may never come.

Any Day Now

The observance of New Year’s Day (I suppose like so many other observances) is both arbitrary and random.  The fact that we record dates with January as the first month, instead of May or August, and December as the last is illogical.  There is no magical or material difference between 11:59PM on New Year’s Eve and 12:00AM on New Year’s Day.  Nothing truly changes when the ball drops in Times Square.  As my children would say, celebrating the new year on January 1 is just a ‘social construct’, and the ‘new year’ is just a structure that shapes our culture and maintains a standard for our practices. 

That being said, we do measure our days by the calendar.  We do, collectively, think about the day when one year is ending and another year is beginning.  We do make resolutions to think or eat or behave differently because the year is new.  There will be year-end reviews, year-end memorials, year-end sales and year-end parties.  I suppose that we do need to change the calendars at some time, so why not December 31st?  It is a good practice to take stock of our lives at some point and say, “Out with the old, in with the new”; it is a good time to make resolutions.

On the subject of resolutions, these were the top 10 of 2017, according to Harper’s Bazaar:

  1. Diet, exercise and weight loss.
  2. Read more.
  3. Learn something new.
  4. Save money.
  5. Be nicer, kinder and more patient.
  6. Get a new job.
  7. Volunteer and donate more to charity.
  8. Drink less alcohol.
  9. Get more sleep and relax more.
  10. Make new friends and be a better friend.

I could certainly benefit from some, if not most, of these.  I have scrutinized this list and begun to formulate a plan to live a healthier, fuller and richer life.  I will, however, likely give up when my birthday comes around (which is in a little less than three weeks).  This is all because New Year’s Day is not as magical or mystical as we think.  What I need is January 2nd resolutions, January 3rd resolutions, and every day resolutions.  I must maintain a discipline of thinking every day about living a healthier, fuller and richer life.  I also need those around me to ask about my resolutions (or commitments to discipline) regularly throughout the year.

One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike.  Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind.  Romans 14:5

I am going to keep this list (excepting a few that are not pertinent to my lifestyle) near me for the next few months, as a reminder of how I want to improve my health and wellness.  I am going to resolve, as a contract between myself and my creator, to cultivate the physical, mental, social and emotional blessings He’s given me.  I am going to attempt to do this every day, not just on the special days that this type of talk is fashionable.  And I will pray with you that you reach whatever goals you and God have set for your life as well.  Happy New Year.

A Great Light

For those of you living in Boston, today you will experience the earliest sunset of the year (4:11:38pm).  This is both good news and bad news, since the length of your daylight will continue to decrease until December 20.  Astronomically, we could say that these are dark days: for the next month, we will experience nearly 15 hours of ‘night’.  Metaphorically, we can also say that these are dark days: everyday, through every media source, we witness incidences marked by a lack of direction, a lack of warmth or a lack of morality. 

The Bible has much to say about darkness.  It was the penultimate plague that was inflicted upon Egypt (Exodus 10:21).  It is the dwelling place of God, as witnessed by Moses on Mt. Sinai (Exodus 20:11), by Solomon in the temple (1 Kings 8:12) and through the psalmist (Psalm 97:2).  It was what overshadowed the cross of Christ for three hours during His crucifixion.  It is the place of chaos (Genesis 1:2), temptation (Ephesians 5:11), ignorance (Matthew 6:23) and death (Job 10:21).  It is the place of sinful desires (John 3:19) and the place without light (Acts 2:20) – lifeless, cold and confusing.

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.   Isaiah 9:2

It seems that every day another man in authority is accused of harassment or abuse.  It seems that every week there is another account of mass violence.  The fact is that every moment is filled with an immoral act (a lie, a theft, an assault or an infidelity) somewhere in the world.  There is no shortage of crimes suitable for the local and national news outlets, and those reported on at 6 and 11 are just the tip of the iceberg of what Robert Burns wrote as “man’s inhumanity to man”.   We are people walking in darkness, shivering and stumbling in sin.

But in that darkness a light has dawned.  This is not the flicker of a candle or a 100-watt lightbulb; it is more than the flashlight on your smartphone or a lighthouse on the coast.  It is a great light, like the sun; it is the light of the world, which the Gospel of John tells us is the light of life.  This light is Jesus, who has entered the darkness and overcome it.  He is the source of life, purpose and power.  He has destroyed the secrecy of temptation, the strangeness of confusion and the sting of death.  Because of Christmas, the light has overwhelmed the darkness.

I hope that you delight in all the lights of Christmas – those on the trees, in candleholders, woven into sweaters, at church, on lawns and in the sky – and rejoice that the light of the world, the great light, has come into our world and has illumined our darkness.  Perhaps this truth will enable us all to focus on the joy of this light and, perhaps, seek the goodwill of all those who walk with us during these dark days.

Abundance

Happy belated Thanksgiving.  There is just something special about spending this holiday with loved ones.  One of the things that make the fourth Thursday in November Thanksgiving is tradition.  We all have traditions: some prepare a fresh turkey and others roast a frozen one (or, God forbid, a ham); some will eat white meat while others will choose dark meat; for many families, it is anathema to make anything other than cracker stuffing, oyster stuffing, bread stuffing or dressing (whether it is in the bird, in a casserole dish or by stove top); even the vegetables are traditional, with a specific assortment of corn, turnips, pearl onions, green beans, squashes or peas; we will have cornbread, rolls or breads, but never all three; desserts are equally particular, with some preferring apple, blueberry, or squash pie and others wanting pumpkin or mince – and that is just questions about the food.  Is it your tradition to play football or watch the parade before dinner or watch football or take a nap afterward?

No matter what we enjoy at the table (as well the joys of companionship before or after), there is something different about Thanksgiving and that difference is categorized by one word: abundance.  When I was growing up, I was raised by a single parent who could afford few luxuries.  We always had sufficient, but rarely had more … except on Thanksgiving.   We always had a large fresh turkey with mounds of mashed potatoes and bowls of veggies.   There were pies for dessert and ample leftovers for sandwiches later in the day.  I have vivid memories of the bounty that my mother provided on a fixed budget.

You crown the year with your bounty, and your carts overflow with abundance.  Psalm 65:11

As we think of the abundance we have experienced, it is fitting to express gratitude to God.  While our culture celebrates abundance once a year, God bounteous goodness is presence every day.  The psalmist declares that at His table our cup overflows.  One of the prophets declared that the heavens contain greater blessings than we could ever store.  In his parables, He tells of a wedding feast where there is no shortage of food.    One of Christ’s most treasured promises is that he came to us to give us a life of abundance.  One aspect of God’s divine nature is His grace, His unmerited favor, abundant and free.   And because of His abundance, we respond with gratitude.

Give thanks to God for His provisional abundance, we who live in the wealthiest region in the world.  Give thanks to God for His spiritual abundance, we who have His word as near as our smartphone and His Spirit even nearer.  Give thanks to God for His sensational abundance, we who have a richness of experiences in sound and sight rivaling any other time in history.  Give thanks to God for His informational abundance, we who are blessed with the digital super highway and the best scholars at our fingertips.

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow!

My Goodness

All my life I have been encouraged to be a good boy (or a good man).  Growing up, I must have heard the command to “be good” a thousand times, whether it was just before visiting a friend’s house or the local library.  After I was particularly incorrigible as a child, I was warned that I might be dropped off at the “bad boy store” by my frustrated mother – in hindsight, I recognize the absurdity of the reality of this establishment, but at the time the notion that I could be chattel for this nefarious business worked well in keeping me on the straight and narrow.  However, I was not always a good boy.

As I grew up into manhood, I have tried to be a good man.  I think I have succeeded, to a greater of lesser degree.  However, “the bad man store” may have a new item for sale.  In my defense, the event I am about to describe occurred during the Patriots game on Sunday.  As I was watching the game (the outcome of which at the time was still in question), trouble came to our house.  As she was making sure our youngest was ready for bed, my wife hit her head – hard – on the upper bunk of the boys’ bed.  While there was no blood, there was a bump.  It least that is what I was told.  I had little compassion and provided no care.  I was not a good husband or a good father.  I was wrong, and I sincerely apologize to my wife for my lapse in judgement.   I am not always a good man.

When I became a follower of Christ, I tried to be a good Christian.  I have a long list of good and godly behaviors – with appropriate measures of church attendance, charitable giving and acts of service – but I am not a good Christian.  I am in danger of being shipped off to the “bad Christian store” because my practice of the faith is incomplete, my priority of Christ’s lordship is inconsistent and my passion for the gospel is anemic.  I continue to sin.  I continue to fail.  I do not pray as much as I should nor share my faith as frequently as I should.  I am not always a good Christian.

But who can discern their own errors?  Forgive my hidden faults.    Psalm 19:12

My problem is that I am lulled into believing that I am (overall) good.  I compare myself to others and I see myself as measuring up pretty well against the competition.  But, as the Psalm above states, I am unable to rightly evaluate my own goodness.  I need forgiveness for the things I cannot see in myself.  I need the truth of God to be my standard and not my own heightened sense of self.   In comparison to the standards of the Scriptures (which are beneficial for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness), I am, by nature, a bad boy, a bad man and a bad Christian.

But that is not how God sees me: because I have trusted Jesus as Lord and Savior, I have been justified (declared not guilty by God through His acceptance of Christ’s sacrificial satisfaction of God’s wrath) and sanctified (anointed, appointed and equipped to accomplish His will).   I am seen by God as good, and that motivates me to demonstrate this divinely imbued goodness.  It also motivates me to remember that this goodness is not from me, but from the one who redeemed me so that I might do some good.  I thank God that He enables me to be a good person, a sinner saved by His grace.

Triumph Over Tragedy

My heart remains heavy as I process the events of Sunday morning in Sutherland Springs, TX.  According to numerous news sources, a man parked his truck at a gas station, walked across the street with a number of weapons and then opened fire on those around and within the First Baptist Church of Sutherland Springs as they gathered for the 11AM worship service.  Twenty-six men, women and children were killed and more than 20 others were injured, leading to the pastor’s wife, Sherri Pomeroy, saying, “Most of our church family is gone….”   The only word I am left with is this: tragic.

In the aftermath of this ever-increasingly common tragedy, numerous ‘shapers of culture’ (celebrities, politicians and media consultants) have said many things about many topics, and I am not sufficiently knowledgeable about the details of this event nor of its legal implications to offer my commentary.  What I do know is this: there is no place on earth where we will be perfectly safe.  We deceive ourselves if we think that churches or schools or country music concerts make those therein impervious to danger and risk.  We are being unrealistic if we imagine that locks and detectors keep us far from harm.

(Jesus asked,) “Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them – do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem?  I tell you, no!  But unless you repent, you too will all perish.”   Luke 13:4-5

The bad news is this – bad things happen every day.  Disease of the body and disease of the spirit is present in every place humanity dwells.  There are earthquakes and hurricanes that devastate vast areas.  There are wildfires and droughts that destroy lives and livelihoods.  There are acts of violence that damage souls and bring death to innocents.  There is little we can do about these things and nothing will prevent them from happening should they seek our demise.  The bad news is that we cannot prevent what is evil from being evil.  The bad news is that we are not safe.

However, there is good news.  While we cannot prevent bad things from occurring, we can prepare for them, so that death by whatever circumstance cannot rob us of our relationships and our life.  We have nothing to fear since we can claim the promise Jesus has made to all those who trust in Him

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life.  The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.  Do you believe this?”   John 11:25-26

While it is true that life on earth is not safe, it also true that the God who loves us has provided us with blessings that can never be taken away.  There are blessings beyond this physical realm – redemption, restoration, reunion and resurrection – that no act of violence or “act of God” that can rescind.

I hope and pray that the odds fall in your favor, that life-taking evil does not visit your camp.  I also hope and pray that should your last day on earth occur much earlier than you planned, you will have prepared for this eventuality and placed your full faith in the One who provides life after death.

Image by DAVID J. PHILLIP / AP

Setting the Standard

For those of you discouraged by a 4:32PM Sunset in Boston on Sunday, you will be glad to know that an 11-member panel, created by the Massachusetts Legislature last year, spent months examining the pros and cons of effectively establishing daylight saving time year-round and eliminating the practice of setting clocks forward and back twice every year.  Their decision: move the Commonwealth into the Atlantic Time Zone (aligning ourselves with the Canadian provinces of New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, and Prince Edward Island) if all the Northeast region (including New York) agrees to change their time zone with us. 

This strikes me as nothing more than a hollow victory.  The commission’s trouble with “going it alone” is that transportation, broadcasting schedules and sporting events could all be adversely affected.  I, for one, could get used to The Tonight Show at 12:35AM, football at 2PM and early flights from Logan at 7 in the morning.  It would be a challenge calibrating ourselves with the rest of the country, but I would be willing to try.  But, because it is nearly impossible to buck the cultural norms, we in the Northeast will not experience a sunset after 5PM until February 4th; the groundhog may see the sun before I will during my drive home from work.

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.  2 Timothy 2:24

Speaking of cultural norms, we were discussing the above referenced verse of scripture and my wife remarked at how difficult it is to keep the little details of this passage.  If you think changing your Time Zone is counter-cultural, try not quarreling or being kind to everyone or releasing resentment.

  • Anyone familiar with social media knows that quarreling (or fighting) is our national pastime: there are posts (and then comments about those posts) that are divisive and combative, attacking the “opposition” both personally and indiscriminately. A follower of Christ ought not engage in these senseless squabbles.
  • If you are a driver, you know that kindness is in short supply. I realize that someone allowing me to turn into traffic is unrealistic, but I do wonder if honking the horn as the light turns green or passing on the right (through unoccupied parking spaces) on a single lane street or ignoring the ‘right lane must turn’ sign and weaving to the left at dangerous speeds are necessary.  A few verses after the above passage, Paul tells Timothy that he should be gentle with those who oppose his teaching; a follower of Christ should be restrained in exercising whatever power that follower has.
  • Life, no matter how it is lived, will contain times of deep disappointment. All but one team finishes the season without a title.  Every person will find oneself in one sort of line or another, and whatever line you find yourself in, the other one is moving faster…and has fewer bitter and angry people occupying it.  A follower of Christ should release resentment as soon as it is sensed.

God has called us to – and equipped us for – better than our culture prescribes.  No matter what time we find ourselves in, we are called to be counter-cultural: peaceable, kind and hopeful.  I suspect those godly attributes will be highly regarded during the long nights ahead.

Truth Unmasked

There has been a series of conversations at our house about what costume our 9-year-old son will be wearing on Halloween.  He has decided that his costume will be made from a cardboard box (he feels that it is tradition: in past years, he has been a Lego®, a birdhouse, a television, and a clock).  Beyond that, the options are incalculable: he could go out into the neighborhood disguised as a board game, a rocket ship, a refrigerator or a hundred other ‘boxy’ things.  For one night a year, my son will get the opportunity to pretend that he is someone or something else.

When he gets older, he will get the opportunity to pretend that he is someone or something else all the time.  Lord willing, he will learn how to fashion and wear a mask to disguise his true self in the business world, the social spaces and marketplace.  We all, as we mature, put on masks to protect our frail vulnerabilities and preserve our fragile sensitivities.  We all learn that there are things about us that we choose to keep to ourselves: we temper our opinions, our preferences and our accomplishments to avoid being rejected by those around us.  We all wear masks and pretend that we belong.

Except, we cannot wear the masks all the time.  They chafe upon us and distort our vision.  They prevent us from expressing our emotions and enjoying nourishment.  So, we take them off and show ourselves to those we love and to those who love us.  In those moments we find comfort and strength in being know as we truly are.

Beside all this, there is one who knows us, whether we don our masks or not; the one who created us knows us completely.  We cannot hide our thoughts from Him.  We cannot keep our opinions from Him.  We cannot shield our motives from His eyes.  It serves no purpose to wear a disguise in His presence, as He see through our cardboard boxes and knows who we are.  There is a word in the New Testament that describes our attempts at pretending we are someone or something else, a word which literally means ‘a play actor’: hypocrite.  It is this word that Jesus uses to describe those who perform a role in public places to protect themselves:

“So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others.  …  And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others.  … When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting.”  Matthew 6:2, 5, 16

One night a year is sufficient time to wear a costume and pretend that you are a superhero or a celebrity or a washing machine.  Perhaps you will need a disguise at the next corporate outing or family reunion.  You need not wear these things just to make people like you.  You need to know that the One who made you knows what is behind your mask, and loves you just as you are.

Bright and Burning

Yesterday was quite a day of sports in our neck of the woods – the Boston Red Sox, the New England Patriots and the Boston Bruins were all in action.  It is a wonder to see all these professional athletes utilizing their talents, gifts and natural abilities.  What we do not witness while watching these games is all the time spent of training:  hours in the batting cages and fielding ground balls, innumerable sessions of weight-training and blocking drills or countless mornings of ice time practicing their slapshots.   We celebrate the excellence of the players on the field or rink, knowing that those who are playing have worked harder than we can imagine in order to get to where they are.

The same is true for musicians, writers, plumbers, surgeons, sales representatives and every other vocation (and avocation, as well).  Our effectiveness in any endeavor is dependent upon our efforts in honing the requisite skills for the task.  It is not enough to have a gift – whether you are a piano prodigy or a math whiz – if you never put in the hours practicing your craft.  That is why the Apostle Paul writes the following words to his protégé Timothy:

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands.     2 Timothy 1:6

Sometimes we are tempted to think that the spiritual gifts that God bestows upon us are effectively different than all the other gifts He gives us, but according to Paul, that is just not true.  We need to fan into flame any and every gift we’ve been given by God.

That phrase – ‘fan into flame’ – is a hapax legomenon (it only appears once in all of scripture) and therefore is really difficult to contextualize.  It is a single Greek verb formed by the combination of the roots forms of again, living and fire.  It means to make a fire live again, to be rekindled or a flame to be revived.  It is not the process of starting the fire, but maintaining it.  When my family goes camping, it is my job (as the dad) to start the fire and I involve the kids in the process of keeping it going.  When it comes to spiritual gifts, God’s job is to start the fire.  Our job is to do what we can to keep it robust – adding more wood to the fire, blowing on the embers, making sure it is not quenched by rain.

Whatever gift, talent or natural ability you have been blessed with, let Paul’s words encourage you to fan that fire into flame.  Work at your craft so that your passions never simply smolder.   Commit to practice what you are already good at so that there is more sizzle than smoke.  Do not neglect the spiritual gifts you have been given; practice them.  Whether it is preaching or prophecy, helping or hospitality, leadership or giving, or any of the other gifts mentioned in Romans 12:6-8, 1 Corinthians 12:8-10, 28 or Ephesians 4:11, do whatever is necessary to rekindle and revive the fire that God started within your soul.   Maintain whatever God has begun in you.