Category Archives: Family

Play It Again

What a difference five months makes.  On Monday, July 3rd, when there was nothing but repeats on television, I flipped through the channels, finally arriving upon the programming of the NFL network.  They were rebroadcasting Super Bowl LI, which took place on Sunday, February 5th.  I sat in my recliner, celebrating the eve of Independence Day, and watched ‘America’s New Team’, the New England Patriots, contend against the Atlanta Falcons for the Lombardi Trophy and professional football’s championship.

I watched the game when it was broadcast live.  I was optimistic when the 1st quarter ended with neither team scoring.  That optimism waned as Atlanta held a 21-3 lead as Lady Gaga took the field for the halftime show.  The hopes of a 5th championship nearly disappeared when the Falcons scored one more time midway through the 3rd quarter.  28-3.  No one had ever overcome as much as a 14-point deficit in the Super Bowl, and now the Pats were down by 25.  Maybe the Patriots were not as good as their fans imagined.  I remember watching with unbelief and sadness that the hometown team was going down to utter defeat.  I remember thinking that perhaps New England could, at the very least, make the game competitive.

Watching the replay of the game earlier this week was a much different experience.  I was not troubled by Tom Brady’s early and poorly thrown interception.  I was unaffected by Gostkowski’s missed point-after attempt.  I delighted in the ineptitude of the New England defense in the 1st half and the Atlanta offense in the 2nd half.  The final 23 minutes were when all the fun took place.  28-3.  28-9.  28-12.  28-20.  Edelman’s miracle catch with 2 minutes and change to go in the game.  28-28.  The Super Bowl was going into overtime for the first time in the history of the game.  Patriots win the coin toss.  34-28.  Patriots win.  NFL Champions.  Queue up the duck-boats.

It takes an emotional toll on a spectator when the outcome remains unknown, but there is no trepidation when that same spectator knows how it all will end.   That was the difference between February 5th and July 3rd.  The second broadcast was thoroughly enjoyable – even the bad plays and the foolish fouls – because I knew that the New England Patriots were victorious.

Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.  1 Thessalonians 4:13

This is how those who know Christ as Lord and Savior ought to think about the future, just like we were reviewing a recorded sporting event.  We know how it ends.  We need not hopelessly grieve as if we are unaware of the outcome.  We can, and should, anticipate the blessed hope of Christ’s victory over sin, death and Satan.   We will certainly have periods of awfulness and ache, but they will lose their power in light of the impending joy at the conclusion of our journey.

In the words of Patriots wide receiver Julian Edelman, “Hey! Let’s go, boys.  It’s going to be a hell of a story.”

Birthday Present

On Monday of this week we celebrated my wife’s birthday.  Without sharing a specific number (a woman never tells her age), I will say that it was a ‘milestone’.  She and I went ‘in town’ to a fancy restaurant for lunch, then returned home for presents and cake with the kids, and finally had supper together (all the while enduring the hottest June 12th on record).  While some may say that our festivities were meager given the circumstances for celebration, it was exactly what the birthday girl wanted – a time to break from the routine of laundry, dishes and ‘taxi service’ and simply enjoy the blessings of life with those we love.

I don’t believe I am ‘telling tales out of school’ in saying that milestone birthday can be hard.  In the days leading up to her birthday, as was the case 16 months ago with my milestone birthday, my wife voiced some uneasiness in acknowledging another candle was being added to the cake.  It is at these times that we all tend to reflect on those missed opportunities, regret those unwise decisions and recalibrate to what now seems possible.  We joke with one another about being “over the hill” (as long as it isn’t our birthday we’re talking about) and wonder if our best days are behind us.

Milestones, like big birthdays, also remind us of where we’ve been and how far we’ve travelled.  I have known my wife since she was sixteen and celebrated it with her ever since she was eighteen.  We’ve celebrated a few times during summer break from college, once while planning our wedding and as even newlyweds and new parents.  We’ve celebrated at her parents’ home, at our six different homes and at dozens of diverse restaurants.  We’ve celebrated some birthdays after long days at work, others on warm weekends and one at a High School awards ceremony.  Each year has been different.  All those celebrations have now become mental snapshots of a life well lived and a life well loved.

I know that I have given Jeanine a present or two each of the years we’ve been together, but, for the life of me, I cannot remember a single one with any specificity.  I think this is because, in my opinion, the best gift given on her birthday is not the one she receives from us but the one she is to us.  She is the anchor of our family, preventing us from drifting toward disaster.  She is the glue in her relationships, keeping us together.  She is the optimist in the most pessimistic of predicaments.  All those who know Jeanine understand that the world is a better, kinder, sweeter place because she is in it.

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.   Proverbs 5:18

As the cliché goes, age is just a number.  While that may be true, birthdays are special; it celebrates the day God gave us one another.  I praise God that I could spend so many days celebrating the important people in my life, especially Jeanine.  Happy Birthday to you.

Building Community

Over the past two weeks, I have travelled with my youngest son back in time courtesy of two historic dwellings.  Two weeks ago, I had the privilege of serving as a chaperone for his third grade to the Pierce House, built in 1683 and located about four blocks from Joshua’s school.  Then, last Monday, the family went to 83 Beals Street in Brookline, the “modest” home built in 1909 where the thirty-fifth president of the U.S. was born.  Both these houses have been restored to reflect an earlier time period and give those who visit a unique glimpse of life for those living in the past.

The Pierce House was restored to reflect its namesake’s ownership, Colonel Samuel Pierce. Prior to the Revolutionary War, the Pierces farmed and worked a 20-acre plot of land and the house was furnished and fashioned to depict colonial life in New England.  It gave my son and his classmates the opportunity to experience life from another person’s perspective.  One activity the children played during the field trip was a trading game: each student was given a role in the community (wheelwright, farmer, shoemaker, etc.) and a shopping list, requiring them to interact with others to secure what they needed to survive.    From this humble home, I hope my nine-year old gained an understanding of the value of community.

We visited the birthplace of John F. Kennedy on what would have been his one hundredth birthday.  While the brochure describes the house as “modest”, it seemed opulent for the times (electricity, indoor plumbing and maids’ quarters).  The home was restored to its appearances in 1920, according the “living cultural translator”, a maid-of-all-work named Marie.  She told us about the modern convenience of the toaster and the Cupcakes she was working on to celebrate Jack’s third birthday.   She seemed proud to work for such a prominent family and grateful for the opportunities her new life in her new country provided.  From this well-appointed home, I hope my nine-year old gained an understanding of the value of hard work.

So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.  Ephesians 4:11-13

These two homes gave me pangs of melancholy.  As I stood watching third-graders trading food and fabrics with their classmates, I longed for a time before supermarkets and department stores when we knew our neighbors and their importance to the community: everyone had something to offer and everyone helped everyone else.  As I stood in a Brookline kitchen, I longed for a time before Apple© products and electronic apps when we sought to serve others and share our lives with more than a small circle of like-minded individuals.  I long for a place where the values of the past are appreciated in the present.

This nostalgic sadness subsides as I think about the role of the church in our culture: it can be the place where we find real community and the place where we foster real opportunities to serve.  Perhaps your longings for a better world, if you have them, can be satisfied at a house of worship near you.

The Mother Lode

This Sunday we celebrate Mother’s Day.  It is the day that we, as a society, honor the people in our lives who have sacrificed their sleep, their youth, their livelihoods and their plans to provide for us.  We all have someone in our lives worthy of celebration – a mother (or mother-figure) who has loved, comforted, taught and trained us; a person who has given us advice, assistance and correction when we needed it; and someone who was willing to give all they had to help us achieve all we are intended to be.  No human being, and therefore no mother, is perfect; they are simply closer to the ideal than the rest of us.

From last Mother’s Day to this, it has been a particularly difficult year for the three mothers in my life.  The mother I was born to has been hampered by some minor health, home and hearth concerns.  The mother I am married to has seen one child graduate college only to be rocked by an uncertain job market and unestablished credit, one child graduate High School only to live at a college 500 miles away, all while she was required to perform her functions as a mother in a downsized environment.  The mother I gained through marriage has had the toughest year: she suffered the loss of her son in December and an extended hospitalization and rehabilitation since March.  Life has not been easy for the mothers of my family.

As I witnessed how these three remarkable women coped with the challenges of life thrust upon them, it seems that I am the one who is still learning the lessons of life from these moms.  Their stalwart persistence teaches me that God provides all that we need: a few dollars or a few kind words just when we are at our wits’ end.  Their steadfast love teaches me that the difficulties of our day are diffused when we bear the burdens of someone else.  Their sincere concern for their children teaches me that love is empowered only when it is released for the betterment of another.  I am blessed by the love and care of these moms.

My son, keep your father’s command and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.  Proverbs 6:20

The events of the last year, and the ways that these wonderful women navigated them, reinforces in my mind the notion that we need our moms.  We also need to uplift the mothers among us.  Let me encourage you to celebrate the mothers around you.  If your mom is still living, acknowledge the integral role she has played in your life.  If all you have is memories, share one this Sunday.  Recognize the full spectrum of motherhood in your community – greet the new moms, the single moms, the empty-nested moms, the mourning moms, the expectant moms, the motherly role models, the future moms, the moms who care for others’ children and the prodigals’ moms.  It is a tough world and we can use all the love and encouragement we can get.  Praise God this weekend that He has given us great mothers.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Type Casting

At this very moment I have 199 unread emails in my inbox.  Most of them are of little importance that I can quickly scan and delete (notifications of the latest sales and deals at stores and restaurants I have frequented, daily or weekly newsletters and devotionals from ministries and ministers I respect, and the occasional opportunity from a Nigerian prince), but there are a few which have subject lines that are ambiguous and, therefore, warrant a closer look (just in case they are important or urgent).  Because of the internet, I am now able to interact with nearly anyone who may have an inquiry or request for intercession.  What I wonderful time to be alive.

Now I have 205.

Electronic communication is a marvelous resource for this generation:  you can interact with missionaries who serve halfway across the globe, engage in prayer with innumerable people despite differences in location and schedule, or encourage untold (and sometimes unknown) saints and strangers with an apt and timely word.   While I still prefer a phone conversation over an email or text regarding substantive matters, many times a few digital characters are sufficient to efficiently address the details of life.  Plans, which for previous generations took days or weeks to finalize, can now be ironed out in moments.   What a wonderful time to be in community.

207.

While I take the time to espouse the merits of digital dialogue, I am also aware of its dangers.  In this electronic age, we have the ability to say almost anything to nearly everyone: however, immediacy can hinder introspection and sometimes some people type faster than they think, causing everything from misunderstanding (in the best scenarios) to misogyny (in the worst).  In this electronic age, we have the ability to happily exist in a state of complacency: we can be tempted to read daily devotionals and peruse personal emails or posts as a substitute for real life interactions.  In this electronic age, we have the ability to surround ourselves with others who share our opinions and beliefs: our electronic presence can place us in an ‘echo chamber’ of our own thoughts.  Still, what a wonderful time to be engaged.

212.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  Ephesians 4:29

Email, blogs, social media – all marvelous tools to help us engage with the culture around us (and to the farthest corners of the world).  But, like any tool, electronic communications must be used skillfully and wisely.  And, like any tool, electronic communication must not be used exclusively.  We must challenge one another to speak (with our voices and our keystrokes) with words that uplift.  We must stretch ourselves to reach out to others with actual interactions and not simply react to life.  We must lead with love.  What a wonderful time to be a child of God.

At this point I now have 219 emails to deal with…and a whole host of people to talk with face-to-face.

Singing in the Rain

As I was standing out in the schoolyard, waiting for Joshua’s dismissal, I was thinking about all the umbrellas.  Did I mention it was raining?  Our relationship with umbrellas is a complex one.  We don’t think about our umbrella until we need it; we’d never search for one on a sunny day.  They break in the wind and rain, but we don’t replace them, regretting that decision the moment a bit of inclement weather arrives.  We stick them in closets or in trunks, along with the winter boots and ice scrapers, and then are unable to get our hands on them when we need them.

Some people like little, compact umbrellas that can fit in a purse or briefcase, just big enough to protect our heads from the drops (but insufficient to keep our shoes and shoulders dry).  Some people prefer the big, golf-sized umbrellas that you can use as a walking stick, sufficient to protect you and a few companions from whatever may fall from the sky.  As I waited in the schoolyard, every variety of umbrella converged: black umbrellas for the business types, rainbow-striped ones for the free spirited, pink parasols for the princesses and clear plastic domes for the utilitarian folks among us.

There were also people with no umbrella – these are the people I was wondering about.  Did they not possess an umbrella?  Did they own one at one time but lost or misplaced it?  Did they have one at home, but figured that their hood or their hat or that overhang would keep them sufficiently dry?   Did they have a bad experience with an umbrella in the past, perhaps a terrible wind or bout of hail, and swore to never trust an umbrella again?   Did they think that the weather was something they could handle and that a little bit of water never hurt anyone?

I was also wondering if people think of God in the same ways we think of umbrellas.  Are they thinking that God is good when we need Him, but unnecessary on bright and sunny days?  Do they keep God in the closet and then forget about Him?  Have they had a bad experience and blamed God for their discomfort?  Is God little more than a fashion accessory?  Well, God is not merely a cosmic or spiritual umbrella, useful only in protecting us from what may fall from the skies.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.    Isaiah 43:2

God cannot be relegated to the closet until we feel He could be useful; He is continually making His presence known.  God does not come in a myriad of sizes and colors; He is more than we can imagine and greater than we think.  God does not simply keep us dry when we find ourselves in the throes of an April shower; He can enable us to pass through floodwaters and flames.  If you want to be equipped to face the challenges of life, be sure you have an umbrella in your trunk, but make sure God is by your side.

Amazing Grays

There is a word in Greek (thaumazō) that Luke used to describe what happened when human beings witnessed the power and glory of God.  It is alternatingly translated as “to wonder, to be astonished, to be amazed, to marvel, and to be surprised”.  It is the response of the people of Bethlehem after hearing the shepherds declare the birth of the Savior and the disciples after Jesus calmed the wind and the waves.  It is how multiple people reacted to the miraculous acts of the Lord and how Peter felt when he saw the empty tomb.  Throughout the Gospels, men and women come face-to-face with the words and works of God and are amazed.  

This experience of occasional astonishment is, in my opinion, a stark contrast to those who attend our twenty first century worship services.  When was the last time you wondered at the meaning of the words found in the Scriptures or were surprised by the works of the Holy Spirit in our midst?  When was the last time God broke through the mundane and you marveled at the world around you?  In our day and age, our impressions of life on earth is more like that of the author of Ecclesiastes: there is nothing new under the sun.  Where has all the wonder gone?

I believe we get from life and from others what we expect from life and from others.  Beyond “glass-half-full/glass-half-empty” biases, we see what we want to see.  We are not surprised by God, either through His miraculous works or His marvelous words, because we do not think we will be.  Babies are born and all but the immediate family shrugs.  Healing comes to those who are sick and most of us yawn.  Accidents are avoided by random delays and we are oblivious.  Then we consider the biological functions necessary for sustaining life and the explosive power of the combustion engine, it is amazing that we “live and move and have our being”.

…and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them.  Luke 2:18

In fear and amazement they asked one another, “Who is this?”  Luke 8:25b

…and he went away, wondering to himself what had happened.  Luke 24:12b

Last weekend, with its reminders of the sacrificial death and glorious resurrection of Jesus, ought to pique our interest in the amazing.  Easter is a lasting witness to the wonderful and marvelous works and words of God.  It reminds us that while His claims may sound fantastic (i.e. based on fantasy), to our amazement they have all been proven true.  This week, in communities of faith gathered in worship and in places of solitude intended for reflection, we allowed ourselves to be amazed, if only for a moment.  I wonder what would happen if we allowed ourselves to look for the surprising every Sunday morning, or every morning for that matter.

I pray that this week you hear something amazing, see something wonderful and sense something marvelous.  Let me know when you do.

Don’t Give Me A Break

My mother-in-law, who turned ninety on the 28th of last month, had a fall at her home which resulted in her breaking six ribs.  She is currently being cared for at a wonderful hospital in Boston, but addressing her pain, which is substantial, has proven difficult.  If you were to visit her those first few days, you would hear her literally crying out to God in a loud voice; however, by all appearances, God did not reply.  The extreme discomfort of those broken ribs (which cannot be immobilized) remained and the extreme fervency of her prayers (which could not be suppressed) remained unanswered.

My mother-in-law’s condition makes me think about all those who are crying out for relief – relief from the grief or anger of loss, relief from the pain or anguish of trauma and relief from the worries and doubts of the unknown – but relief does not seem to arrive.  Is God silent when we seem to need to hear from Him the most?  Is God distant when we have the greatest hunger for His presence?  Is God uncaring when we long for the comfort that can only come from Him?  By faith, I contend just the opposite.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.   2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Let me be the first to admit that I would appreciate my mother-in-law’s relief from her pain.  Let me also admit that I tend to be blinded by the blessings of God when burdens are right before me.  The loudest murmurs I hear are those of distress, but also present are the beeps of monitors, the hums of IV pumps and the voices of caring health professionals.  My mind plays out a number of other sounds as well: the ringing of an unanswered phone which triggered concern in a daughter’s heart, the sirens of an ambulance that brought needed assistance to a woman in need and a lecture in a medical/nursing school that equipped the doctors and nurses at the hospital to provide expert care.   These, too, are answers to prayer.

God is not silent, or distant or uncaring.  He is speaking in our circumstances, even in the pains that are not fully relieved (which might be teaching us what we ought to avoid).  He is close to us as we undergo the troubling conditions relating to our shared human nature.  He cares for us, so much so that He endured every indignity that comes with life on earth and conquered everything that causes permanent damage – sin, death and damnation.  While I would like the symptoms of this fallen existence to fade into solely painful memories, I accept that God usually comforts us in less obvious ways.

The good news is that Jeanine’s mother is slowly improving and pain killers are alleviating some of her discomfort.  I pray that God, in time, alleviates the remaining difficulties.  It is unfortunate that it takes pain to cause most of us to cry out to God.  It is truly fortunate that He hears and cares, even if we cannot sense it.

More than Snakes and Shamrock Shakes

Today is Saint Patrick’s Day and, thanks to my father’s recent genetic profile from ancestry.com, I will be celebrating the holy day with the newfound knowledge that I am 2% Irish.  There is much to commend Maewyn Succat (thought to be Patrick’s name at birth) to all believers:  he was born into a religious family, with his grandfather serving as a priest; he suffered great adversity, having been kidnapped by pirates at age 16 and then living as a slave in Ireland for 6 years; he was miraculously rescued by God, to whom he had been praying fervently for deliverance, when he was told in a dream that his ship had arrived and then walked more than 200 miles to set sail; upon reaching England, far from home, he survived starvation when a wild boar wandered into his camp; at age 40, God told him in a dream to return to Ireland with the Gospel and build His church. He gives us all a testimony of what God can do through a person committed to trusting in the Lord.

There are a number of the interesting truths about Patrick’s life.  First, he rejected the beliefs of his family for many years, but the great difficulties of his early life drew him to God with a fervent faith.  Second, he was not the first missionary to Ireland, as he succeeded another man who had come to Ireland five years before he returned to the island.  Third, one of the Patrick’s first converts from Druidism to Christianity was Milchu, the tribal chieftain who served as his master more than 20 years earlier.  Patrick was used by God in mighty ways and He utilized every aspect of Patrick’s life (both blessings and burdens) to glorify the Lord.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28

Saint Patrick reminds me that anyone can do great things through God.  Anyone can endure a horrible past when they trust in Him.  Anyone can show the power of forgiveness when they know the forgiveness of God.  Anyone can mightily share their faith when they have experienced the grace of the Lord.   Saint Patrick reminds me that nothing is impossible with God – He is able to reach anyone through anyone by any means.  So, whether you are in the ideal location or the worst place imaginable, among the most wonderful people or the dregs of society, confident in your abilities or concerned about your inabilities, know that God can still be glorified through you.

Perhaps you will enjoy a bit of green lager or some corned beef and cabbage today.  Maybe you will wear green or kiss someone who is Irish.  Wherever and however the day finds you, I pray that we all remember the witness of a special man who God used to reach ‘the ends of the earth’ over 1,600 years ago.  And I hope in remembering his story we are reminded of our story as well.  Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Into Each Life…

On Monday, some details of my life caused me to become discouraged.  I rarely become discouraged: while I am not what some would call an optimistic person (I have joked that my personal motto is “Expect the worst: either you’ll be right or pleasantly surprised”), but I am tenacious.  I am not in the habit of giving up.  As a sports fan, if I commit, I stay true until the final score – I will not leave a baseball game until the final out has been recorded or turn off the Super Bowl even if my rooting interest is 25 points behind.  As a home cook, I find comfort in following the recipe, even if it requires a trip to the grocery store for select ingredients.  As the pastor of a small church, I am persistent in proclaiming the truth of God’s word anticipating that on any given (Sun)day another soul will meet the Savior.  This tenacity has served to foster within me a spirit of encouragement.

But life has a way of eroding encouragement, as when mistakes (or sin) on my part conspire with unsavory elements in our society and detoured my heart and mind toward despair.  You will find no details here of what happened on Monday, only an echo of how a day of darkness made me aware of the value of seeking the light.  I have come to the conclusion that God IS with those who travel through the valley of the shadow of death.  He was with me through the loving acts of my sympathetic wife: she made sure I was eating and staying productive when all I could see was an insurmountable obstacle.  He was with me through the providence of Tuesday’s men’s Bible study on Elijah.  He brought me encouragement through His children and through His word.

“…for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.”   Psalm 103:14

It is deeply comforting to know that God knows our physical form and remembers our physical frailties.  He knows we are not invincible, indestructible or indefatigable.  He knows we are subject to discouragement, depression and despair.  He remembers that we are weak in body, mind and spirit.  He remembers our general inability to resist the worldly and our general disinterest with the heavenly.  He knows and remembers all this…and ministers to all our needs graciously without finding fault.  He promises to give us wisdom when we lack it.  He promises to give us rest when we about to falter.  He promises to give us counsel and guidance when we are walking in darkness.  He promises to encourage those who are discouraged.

I am thankful that my times of discouragement are rare.  I am aware, also, that this is not the case for many.  If you are struggling with discouragement or depression, please take comfort in knowing that God knows how you have been formed and He cares for you.  Seek His provision, through His word and His people, to lessen your despair.  Reach out to those around you to hold you accountable in maintaining proper levels of rest, nourishment and productivity.  He will give hope to the hopeless, and He can help you.