“Them’s the Brakes”

I have always enjoyed roller coasters.  I delight in the anticipation from the slow but steady climb and the exhilaration caused by the rapid descent.  I am enthralled to no end when these experiences of undulation repeat themselves at an ever increasing rate of speed.  I like the old-fashioned wooden coasters, with their drop-bars, shimmies and creaks.  I like the newer, metal coasters with their harnesses, loops and corkscrew twists.  Unlike the carousel or teacups, the roller coaster is the highlight of my visit to the theme park.  I will try any one of them; any one, except the emotional roller coaster.  

I went on an emotional roller coaster ride on Wednesday, beginning at 8:30 in the morning, when the dealership’s service manager called with news about my car (they had been performing routine maintenance on it for about twenty-four hours).  The voice on the phone told me that the calipers had seized and needed replacing, costing an additional $530.  Feeling the pinch of the rock on one side and the hard place on the other, I agreed to the added expense.  [Down we go.]  Then I remembered that we purchased an extended warranty with the vehicle, and because we had moved about a year ago, I knew where I could find all the paperwork for the car.  [Up we go again.]  Securing the documents and reading them, I was overjoyed that calipers were covered under warranty.  [The ride was over].

But the roller coaster didn’t slow down after all.  Upon closer inspection, the warranty covered parts and labor for the first five years or 60,000 miles, whichever occurred first.  Since we purchased the car less than five years ago, the only question was the mileage, which was, when I dropped it off at the dealer, 61115.  Because of 1115 miles, we were liable for the cost we couldn’t really afford.  [And down we go again].  All I could do was wait for the work to be done and the final invoice to be calculated.  Finally, at 12:30, I received a call from the same service manager.  It turns out the technician was able to free up the calipers and springs so that they would work properly and the repairs (and the expense) were unnecessary.  [You may now safely exit the ride.]

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.   Isaiah 43:2

It doesn’t take three years in seminary to know that roller coasters are not mentioned in the Bible.  However, we can turn to the Bible to find assurances that God is with us through the ups and downs of life.   The ups and downs of my week ended, this time, on the up side.  Maybe next time we will be less fortunate.  I want to delight in all things, for God is with me, sitting right beside me throughout the waves.  To paraphrase Matt Redmond’s song “10,000 Reasons”, whatever may pass and whatever lies before me, let me be singing when the coaster drops.

Crash Course

“[A named loved one] was just in a car accident….”  While this might not be the content of the worst possible phone call, it would certainly make the top (or the bottom) ten list.  Fortunately for all involved, there were no physical injuries when a tow truck sideswiped the car my child was driving; in fact, the car was still drivable, sort of.  The passenger side windows were smashed and the doors mangled above the hood/trunk line, but otherwise, the vehicle was intact.  We were insured and the truck driver was found to be ‘at fault’, and so, after about a month of claims estimates, adjustments and body work the car was repaired and life has returned to normal.

Yet, life has not returned to normal.  While I am truly grateful to God that the ramifications of this car accident were more or less cosmetic and that my loved one was unharmed, I am now worrying about the next time.  I am aware that accidents are part of life and that no one is immune from tragedy.  I am reminded that I cannot protect those closest to me from harm.  The events of the last month had made me painfully cognizant that bad things happen to good (and bad) people.  I have come to realize that any goodbye could be the last goodbye.

      We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.   Psalm 33:20

There are a great many things in which we can put our hope: our health, our wealth, our wits, our insurance policies, our retirement plans, our relationships, our government, or our religion.  Unfortunately, all these things will eventually fail us.  Every created thing has an expiration date, an ontological obsolescence, and will one day cease to perform their intended function.  The only thing we can trust is what is uncreated: the living God, who has chosen to reveal Himself through His written word.  Because He is outside the realm of chaos and decay that we inhabit, the Lord alone is worthy of our unrequited trust.   He can help us and protect us from the dangers of this troublesome world.

God has a resolution to my most recent source of worry: He provides a means where we need never say ‘goodbye’ to those who we love.  Simply stated, when we trust in the Lord Jesus Christ as our Savior (specifically, that He descended from heaven and became fully human, only to live a sinless life among us, die in our place and rise as victor over our sin) and our Lord (specifically, that He, in light of His sacrifice for us, has mastery over every aspect of our lives), we will live forever with God and His children.  Knowing Jesus as my Lord and Savior, and knowing my children know Jesus as their Lord and Savior, allay my fears (mostly).  I can say ‘goodbye’ and know, no matter what, it really means “see you later.”

That is the kind of peace of mind that no insurance company can provide.

Doing Good Badly

I heard the following quote from a podcast earlier this week:

“If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.” – G.K. Chesterton

Upon hearing it, I did a quick Google© search to check its veracity.  It is, in fact, genuine.  Chesterton (a writer, poet and lay theologian from England) did write these words at the end of the fourteenth chapter of his 1910 book What’s Wrong with the World.  The context for the quote was the education of children and the point of his comments were to do what is necessary, even if it is done poorly.

Our society, at first blush, seems to contradict Chesterton’s words by telling us that if it is worth doing, it is worthy doing well.  Chesterton’s point, and my reasoning for quoting him, does not disagree with this prevailing wisdom.  When we endeavor to accomplish a task – in the home, in the workplace or in the church – we ought to do our best.  We must not enter into the essential activities of life half-heartedly.  That being said, we rarely are able to accomplish our best, whether it be due to an inaccessibility of resources, an insufficiency of energy or a lack of passion.

When our best work and our real work are incongruent, we tend to get discouraged, and when we get discouraged, we quit.  We flip the above-stated cultural mandate on its head and think to ourselves, “if I cannot do this well, I should not do it at all.”  That is where Chesterton comes in, reminding us that it is perfectly acceptable to do something, even if it is done badly.  We are always to do things to the best of our abilities, understanding that there are days when our best is bad.  On those days, instead of giving up the fight, we can resolve to do better the next time.

My life is full of moments when I am doing what is worth doing, but doing it badly.  There are times when I am hungry and I diet badly.  There are times when I am angry and communicate badly.  There are times when I am lonely and manage my time badly.  There are times when I am tired and pray with the family badly.  There are times when I preach badly, teach badly, father badly, husband badly, perform sonly duties badly and witness badly.  But I do not quit, and instead commit to doing better the next time.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  2 Corinthians 4:7

As Paul reminded the early church in Corinth, we are simple, easily broken, earthen vessels.  Anything we do, any excellence we accomplish, any power we display is not from us; it is from God.  We cannot (and are not expected to) do everything well every time.  We will, occasionally, do things badly.  But we will do them because they are worth doing.  I pray we all will always be doing good, even when we can only do it badly.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

Planting A Flag

As hard as it is for me to believe, I have been offering my ‘musings’ every week for over five years.  I am certain that in that span of time my posts have repeatedly touched upon similar themes – the constancy of change, the ubiquity of hardship and the realities of domestic life.  Hopefully, I have been faithful in my appreciation of God’s amazing grace throughout all the ups and downs of life and the ever-changing challenges and joys of ministry in ‘hub of the universe’.  I would like to think, having chronicled my thoughts for all this time, that the process has enabled me to glorify the Lord.

However, as soon as I think that I have made some progress in my reliance upon the goodness of God, I have mornings like Wednesday.   As I was walking up to the church in anticipation of a great day at vacation Bible school, I noticed a caravan of DPW trucks stationed across the street from the church’s driveway.  It seems that the sidewalk needed to be replaced and that Wednesday, July 26, was the day that the work needed to begin.   I believe that I may have mumbled something under my breath that questioned if the cosmic forces were conspiring against me.

But nothing catastrophic happened: the work crew did their exacting work, the cars all navigated the serpentine route down Ashmont Street, and all the children who were planning on attending VBS arrived and enjoyed the program.   In fact, some great things occurred, despite my initial fears to the contrary: God blessed us with a dozen children and more than a dozen volunteers (including a few new faces); the weather was gloriously mild (enabling the kids to play in the back lot); and I was utterly fascinated by the choreography of the ten DPW workers, each with a unique set of tasks, as they replaced the sidewalk when they returned to finish the job on Thursday.  I was assuming that my glass was half empty and, as usual, God gave me the whole cow.

Over and over again, God grants me grace despite my ‘doom and gloom’ prognostications.  I worry that the trucks will impede my plans, but God has something better in mind.  Over and over again, God sends showers of blessings when I expect damaging rains.  I question my circumstances, but God has answers I could never imagine.  When I think to myself that the sky is falling, my ‘Chicken Little’ mentality only serves to discourage me when God seeks to encourage my soul.   I must choose to trust in the One who causes the sun to rise and set with the details of my day.

“But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”  1 Corinthians 15:57 (ESV)

I suppose that the busyness of our street the other morning (and all the other things in life that are not going as I would prefer) has reminded me that I need to set my focus on God’s promises and not my problems.  As I have been hearing at VBS this week, above the din of activity across the street, God is mighty.  How foolish of me to wonder if God could still accomplish His will when a couple of trucks are blocking the way (He CAN!).

Flowers and Hearts

Through a series of unrelated events, the grounds of the church have undergone a transformation this week.  A $4 part at Lowe’s® fixed the church’s line trimmer and so we were able to “whack” the weeds along the fences lining the perimeter of our property that had been growing for about a month.  A vehicle that resided in the parking lot for longer than prudent was finally claimed by a charity and towed away.  A group of volunteers filled a 15-yard capacity dumpster with yard waste from unscrupulous landscapers who had been dumping their lumber, uprooted shrubbery and lawn clippings in our wooded backyard for years.  Add a routine mowing of the grass into the mix and we went from overgrown and unruly to tidy and trimmed in just a few days.

As I think about all that was done to beautify the “house of the Lord”, I marvel at the simplicity of the task: remove all that does not belong.  As I write this, I realize that I must clarify the prior statement – the work was simple, but it was not easy.  It was not easy for the tow truck driver or the dumpster delivery person.  It was not effortless for the teens who labored in 90-degree weather or the people who resourced the church for ministry.  It is simple to remove the superfluous, but it is rarely easy.

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.  For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.   Luke 6:45

In too many ways, my heart is like the church property. It is full of weeds, abandoned property and debris.  It did not start that way: Those weeds were an occasional unnecessary diversion, that abandoned car was a once-treasured (but poorly maintained) treasure, and the trash was just an accumulation of the things with which I could not seem to part.  I did not intend to disregard my heart’s condition, but I prized functionality over efficiency and, with little effort, pushed the debris to the side and vowed to deal with it later.  I embraced hording over health and paid little attention to the junk that accumulated on the edges.

But then, in those moments of self-absorption, I am reminded of the simple truth of God’s word and I commit to making the effort to remain obedient.  I remember that I am delivered from sin by grace through faith (as God’s gift to me) not by my own industry or ingenuity; I cannot do anything to save my sorry soul, but I can do quite a lot as a result of my redemption.  I can weed out the unwanted, jettison the junk and plant the seeds of salvation in the center of my heart.  I can commit to the work of obedience for the sake of my heart’s health and my soul’s harvest.  It is simple, but not easy.

I am so glad for the work that so many have done that restored the church’s parking lot.  As I stand and admire their efforts, I am reminded of the internal efforts I am committed to exert.  May we all tend to the gardens of our souls.

Meat and Greet

Please excuse me if this post is a bit ‘scatter-brained’, but my wife and I just returned from a few days in New York City.  It was wonderful – we saw a Broadway musical (“Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812”, a song-and-dance, nearly all libretto adaptation of Tolstoy’s War and Peace, which was so much better than how I just described it), stayed in a tiny hotel room, did some window shopping along 6th Avenue and ate at the world-famous Katz’s Delicatessen.   The best part was the time Jeanine and I had together on the train – the four hours of adult conversation each way was wonderful.

As I sought to connect my thoughts with motivation for the spiritual journey, I thought about writing about the despair of Russian story-telling and quickly decided against it.  I thought about the tiny hotel room and the benefits of hospitality in an unfamiliar environment, but our amenities were nothing to write home about.  My thoughts keep going back to that warm brisket with ground mustard on light rye sandwich that I enjoyed at Katz’s (as well as the corned beef with mustard on Italian sandwich Jeanine savored).  That is what really made me think about God.

Saying all this about a sandwich may be tantamount to gluttony, but being there was a bit like being in church.  For those who have yet to experience all that is Katz’s, allow me to share a few things: first, there are no counter seats or tables for two, just four-tops along the walls and long tables which seat eight in the middle of the floor; then, you must walk up to a (meat) cutter, who will prepare your feast before your eyes; and last, people from every walk of life will be there (while we were dining, there was someone there with bodyguards who was obviously someone special).  It was like church because it epitomized community, generosity and acceptance.

So go to the street corners and invite to the banquet anyone you find.  Matthew 22:9

The opportunities we have for community dining are quickly passing away.  That is tragic.  As we were eating, a chair’s width away from us was a bowl of matzo ball soup and we were humored by the size of the ball amidst the broth (it was about equal to a softball).  We were shared pleasantries with a businessman who squeezed in behind us.  There was lively banter between perfect strangers all around us.  It was the closest thing to a church supper I’d experienced outside of church, and it was awesome.

With the norm of dining out being fancy meals that can fit on a tea saucer, it was a breath of fresh air to see and consume the sandwiches we were served.  I watched the cutter take out a whole brisket and, after a bit of trimming, slice half of it.  I watch him fan out the meat and place it three layers high on the bread, as well as offer me a taste as I watched.  It had to be two pounds of meat – more than necessary, more than generous.  He did the same for Jeanine’s sandwich and then sent me on my way with my food and a plate of pickles.  It was the closest thing to grace I’d experienced in a while – for I received so much more than I imagined.

As we sat there wondering who the man in the suit (surrounded by two guys with earpieces) was, we speculated that maybe he’s the mayor, or a politician, or a business leader.  Whoever he was, he too, waited in line (in truth, one of the earpieces did) and had to sit at a community table.  No one got special treatment.  Everyone was treated the same, and that treatment was exceptional.  As I ate my sandwich, I was blessed with the knowledge that I was being treated the same way every celebrity who had entered the deli was treated, and if the décor was an indication, plenty of celebrities had passed through the doors.  It is the closest thing to heaven I’ve witnessed in a while – everyone treated equally, regardless of who they are or what they’ve done.

The experience has whet my appetite for the real thing – heaven – where we will live in community, be blessed with generosity and experience acceptance.  Maybe heaven will have heaping mounds of brisket, too.

Play It Again

What a difference five months makes.  On Monday, July 3rd, when there was nothing but repeats on television, I flipped through the channels, finally arriving upon the programming of the NFL network.  They were rebroadcasting Super Bowl LI, which took place on Sunday, February 5th.  I sat in my recliner, celebrating the eve of Independence Day, and watched ‘America’s New Team’, the New England Patriots, contend against the Atlanta Falcons for the Lombardi Trophy and professional football’s championship.

I watched the game when it was broadcast live.  I was optimistic when the 1st quarter ended with neither team scoring.  That optimism waned as Atlanta held a 21-3 lead as Lady Gaga took the field for the halftime show.  The hopes of a 5th championship nearly disappeared when the Falcons scored one more time midway through the 3rd quarter.  28-3.  No one had ever overcome as much as a 14-point deficit in the Super Bowl, and now the Pats were down by 25.  Maybe the Patriots were not as good as their fans imagined.  I remember watching with unbelief and sadness that the hometown team was going down to utter defeat.  I remember thinking that perhaps New England could, at the very least, make the game competitive.

Watching the replay of the game earlier this week was a much different experience.  I was not troubled by Tom Brady’s early and poorly thrown interception.  I was unaffected by Gostkowski’s missed point-after attempt.  I delighted in the ineptitude of the New England defense in the 1st half and the Atlanta offense in the 2nd half.  The final 23 minutes were when all the fun took place.  28-3.  28-9.  28-12.  28-20.  Edelman’s miracle catch with 2 minutes and change to go in the game.  28-28.  The Super Bowl was going into overtime for the first time in the history of the game.  Patriots win the coin toss.  34-28.  Patriots win.  NFL Champions.  Queue up the duck-boats.

It takes an emotional toll on a spectator when the outcome remains unknown, but there is no trepidation when that same spectator knows how it all will end.   That was the difference between February 5th and July 3rd.  The second broadcast was thoroughly enjoyable – even the bad plays and the foolish fouls – because I knew that the New England Patriots were victorious.

Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.  1 Thessalonians 4:13

This is how those who know Christ as Lord and Savior ought to think about the future, just like we were reviewing a recorded sporting event.  We know how it ends.  We need not hopelessly grieve as if we are unaware of the outcome.  We can, and should, anticipate the blessed hope of Christ’s victory over sin, death and Satan.   We will certainly have periods of awfulness and ache, but they will lose their power in light of the impending joy at the conclusion of our journey.

In the words of Patriots wide receiver Julian Edelman, “Hey! Let’s go, boys.  It’s going to be a hell of a story.”

Billions and Billions Served

The other night, my wife and I watched “The Founder”, a biopic about Ray Kroc, the ‘founder’ of McDonald’s.    As someone largely unfamiliar with the history of the ‘Golden Arches’, through the film I was introduced to culinary geniuses Maurice and Richard McDonald and the ‘speedee system’ they developed (the source of the great success the restaurants that bore their name enjoyed).  They designed a kitchen and business model that provided good food with no plates, no carhops and (most importantly) no waiting – it was revolutionary.  Kroc, who sold milkshake blenders at the time, made a sales call at the walk-up ‘diner’ and was immediately smitten.

The McDonald brothers had a great product and a great process, and they wanted to share them with people beyond those living in San Bernadino, California.  That was where the genius of Ray Kroc came in, as a franchise specialist.  In the span of six years, Kroc expertly established franchises in dozens of locations across America and grew tired of the need to gain the McDonald brothers’ approval for every franchise and any systemic changes.  Kroc broke his contract with the brothers and forced them to consider the expense of a lawsuit.  They eventually settled on a price ($1 million to each brother, after taxes) and Kroc moved on with everything – the product, the process and the name “MacDonald’s”.  It is a cautionary tale of what can happen when a wolf gets into the henhouse.

You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God?  Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.    James 4:4

As I watched the movie, I thought of the connections that this account of the rise of McDonald’s had with the church (i.e. the people of God, not the buildings).

First, there is an emphasis on the part of the brothers to focus on what is important.  Part of their success was offering what people wanted and eliminating everything that was not needed.  Early in the film, Dick McDonald tells Ray Kroc that they offered all sorts of items on the menu and were struggling, causing them to reevaluate.  They discovered that 87% of their sales were three items – burgers, fries and soft drinks.  They decided that this (and milkshakes) was all that would be on the menu.  As the church, we would do well to remember what we are here to offer – the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Then, there was an emphasis on the part of the brothers with putting people first.  Much of the disagreements between the McDonalds and Kroc was the purpose of the restaurants – was it to be a commercial enterprise intent of making money or a service intent on enabling families a night out at a reasonable price?  I think we all know how that turned out.  The church is likewise tempted to choose prosperity over people.

Finally, there is an emphasis on the part of the brothers to refuse any form of compromise.  Toward the end of their contractual relationship, Kroc wanted to save costs with a new product, powdered milkshakes that needed no refrigeration.  The brothers refused the idea because milkshakes are made with, like, milk. Likewise, the church must steer clear of compromise if we seek to make a difference for Christ.

The church – the people of God co-laboring in Christ – has something wonderful to offer the world.  Let us pray that no one robs us of our joy in serving Him.

Time to Talk

There is a church down the street with the following on its lawn sign: “GODISNOWHERE”.  The point of the sign is to reveal a person’s perspective – does the reader see “God is nowhere” or “God is now here”?  Clever.  But the sign also serves as a prime example for the value of space.  There is meaning in strings of letters and there is meaning in the breaks: legend and leg end (one involves a great feat and other is great feet), justice and just ice (ask for each at the donut shop and you will get two very different things), menswear and men swear (it may refer to a blue shirt or a blue streak) or conspiracy and cons piracy (descriptions of a nefarious plot and the actions of a thieving ship of prisoners).  Space contributes to meaning.

Pauses are impactful.  Watch any competition television show and you will experience the power of the pause: Ryan Seacrest stating on American Idol that “the winner…will be revealed when we come back” or Tom Bergeron on Dancing with the Stars looking into the camera and saying “the couple leaving  tonight’s competition…(a camera pans over the contestants for 30 seconds)…[insert names here]”.  We all can recall an occasion when we included a pregnant pause – for effect, in remorse, to increase suspense – to take a breath to add weight to what needed to be said.  Space contributes to importance.

Unfortunately, most of us rush our words and our conversations suffer.  We abhor silence.  We seek to remedy the awkward pause with something, anything to fill the void.  We have lost our appreciation for space, for pause, for silence.  We have stopped taking the time to listen.  We have ceased the practice of seeking God’s help in appropriating just the right phrase.  We have replaced relational interactions with information transfers, expressing less of our feelings and more of the facts.  We tweet and text, ignoring punctuation and eliminating the full stop from the period or the subtle shift from the comma.  Space contributes to emotion.

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.    Psalm 19:14

The root word for the Old Testament practice of meditation relates to the biological function of digestion.  We have a similar English word: rumination.  We ‘chew on’ ideas, we ‘digest’ materials.  In a real sense we break down the thoughts, sights and sounds of life into their basic nutritional components and absorb them, using them for our benefit and the benefit of others.  We would be better communicators if we allowed time for the inner processes to come to a completion before we uttered some of the empty outward expressions our conversations contain.

Allow yourself the space to build meaning, emphasize importance and express emotion.  Perhaps we can, in our own way, incorporate the wisdom of C.S. Lewis, who said,

“A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth.”

We all can benefit from a little time to think and then utter just the right expression.

Birthday Present

On Monday of this week we celebrated my wife’s birthday.  Without sharing a specific number (a woman never tells her age), I will say that it was a ‘milestone’.  She and I went ‘in town’ to a fancy restaurant for lunch, then returned home for presents and cake with the kids, and finally had supper together (all the while enduring the hottest June 12th on record).  While some may say that our festivities were meager given the circumstances for celebration, it was exactly what the birthday girl wanted – a time to break from the routine of laundry, dishes and ‘taxi service’ and simply enjoy the blessings of life with those we love.

I don’t believe I am ‘telling tales out of school’ in saying that milestone birthday can be hard.  In the days leading up to her birthday, as was the case 16 months ago with my milestone birthday, my wife voiced some uneasiness in acknowledging another candle was being added to the cake.  It is at these times that we all tend to reflect on those missed opportunities, regret those unwise decisions and recalibrate to what now seems possible.  We joke with one another about being “over the hill” (as long as it isn’t our birthday we’re talking about) and wonder if our best days are behind us.

Milestones, like big birthdays, also remind us of where we’ve been and how far we’ve travelled.  I have known my wife since she was sixteen and celebrated it with her ever since she was eighteen.  We’ve celebrated a few times during summer break from college, once while planning our wedding and as even newlyweds and new parents.  We’ve celebrated at her parents’ home, at our six different homes and at dozens of diverse restaurants.  We’ve celebrated some birthdays after long days at work, others on warm weekends and one at a High School awards ceremony.  Each year has been different.  All those celebrations have now become mental snapshots of a life well lived and a life well loved.

I know that I have given Jeanine a present or two each of the years we’ve been together, but, for the life of me, I cannot remember a single one with any specificity.  I think this is because, in my opinion, the best gift given on her birthday is not the one she receives from us but the one she is to us.  She is the anchor of our family, preventing us from drifting toward disaster.  She is the glue in her relationships, keeping us together.  She is the optimist in the most pessimistic of predicaments.  All those who know Jeanine understand that the world is a better, kinder, sweeter place because she is in it.

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.   Proverbs 5:18

As the cliché goes, age is just a number.  While that may be true, birthdays are special; it celebrates the day God gave us one another.  I praise God that I could spend so many days celebrating the important people in my life, especially Jeanine.  Happy Birthday to you.